Before FA, when I weighed 50 pounds more than I do now, I made up hundreds of excuses for why I couldn’t go places. Most likely the truth was that I couldn’t find anything to wear and felt horrible about the way I looked. The times I did pry myself off my behind, it took what seemed like hours to get ready. It would start with the mask of makeup and hairspray to try to deflect any attention away from my body. I thought that if I spent enough time on my face and hair, then maybe no one would notice how large I was from the neck down. Then it was off to the closet to put on the “uniform.” I had plenty of couch clothes, but only one or two outfits that I wore to go out. They usually were made up of a black blazer that had... Continue Reading
When I first joined FA, I could not relate to anything I heard. I wasn’t an addict, I wasn’t 300 pounds, and I didn’t eat everything in sight. And, I was embarrassed that I had to go to a support group for fat people! However, the more I sat in the FA meetings and heard people share, the more I began to learn about the many manifestations of this disease we call food addiction. The first way my disease showed up was in my family. I was born to a family of food addicts. Food was love; it was everywhere. Weight was a daily topic of conversation, and I was taught that I’d never be able to eat everything I wanted. My mom routinely told me that if she ever came back in another life, her only wish would be to eat whatever she wanted to eat and stay thin.... Continue Reading
I have been a member of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) for over seven years. In FA, I lost 50 pounds (23 kilos) and kept it off. I am so grateful for a spiritual answer to food addiction and that I can work the Twelve Steps with fellow FA members. One night in AWOL (A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps), we talked about praying for someone else instead of just ourselves. We also took a commitment to do so every day for a week. The next morning, I knelt in prayer and asked God to use me to be of service. I prayed for everyone who was suffering and grieving, naming specific people I knew. I did not know how I would be of service to anyone, I live alone and have been sheltering in place for some time. I trusted God’s plan for me,... Continue Reading
I made an outreach call several weeks ago; it turned out that the person I was calling was no longer in Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous. Phone lists are ever changing because the reality is that people come and go. At meetings fellows who used to be regulars suddenly become memories, or the mention of their name is followed by the phrases, “Have you seen him lately?” and “Oh, she left the program.” This invariably leads me to sigh: We are an FA family, and when family members leave there is a loss. Have I ever considered leaving program? In my early months, I probably considered it daily. FA is simple, but it is not easy, as the saying goes. After reaching a healthy weight, joining an AWOL ( A study of the Twelve Steps in sequence), and having sponsees of my own, I am firmly invested in program. Leaving... Continue Reading
I came into FA at the age of 37, at my most miserable top weight of 176 pounds (nearly 80kg). This was the maximum I would ever let myself reach because this was my weight while pregnant with my children. I have 3 children and I was not a good role model. I was obsessed with all the things – flour, sugar, and quantities. I had to have it all, every time. When my mind would flip into “addict mode” I would get an uncontrollable urge to eat – always junk – and I would become “binge drunk”. I would transform into an addict who had to get her “fix” NOW! I had started a crazy tradition with my kids of going down to the local convenience store for what I called a Junk Run. I would pile them into my car and off we would go. I would buy everything from the store to fill my every type of flavor, texture or temperature. I would fill up a bag and... Continue Reading
