I am a pastor’s wife. I am a food addict. When I first walked into the meeting room in the basement of our local hospital, I was very suspicious. I knew nothing about FA, except what I could glean from a connection magazine I found in a doctor’s waiting room. I had figured out it was a program for food addicts, and that food and flour were not eaten. I arrived at my first meeting half an hour late. There were only three people in the room and it felt immensely awkward. I had so many questions and was so thankful for the break, because all the people in the room turned towards me, introduced themselves, and started answering all my questions. They gave me pamphlets and telephone numbers. I took all the information home, read it that night, and within three days, decided that FA was not for me.... Continue Reading
I wanted to be “normal” in my eating. Why should it be a problem when I ate pretty much what I wanted throughout my teenage and early adult years? I may have had some heavy weight gain here and there, but never serious enough to consider my eating a problem. I just needed to back away from the table. I remember my prayer to God after I was so through with myself for not keeping the weight off. At one point, I weighed 230 pounds. I fasted (not eating anything) for one full day, prayed, and turned it over to God. Then I attended my first FA meeting. I was ready to start that night. There was nobody available to sponsor, so the friend who brought me told me she would talk to her sponsor about sponsoring me. I got her phone number, went to the store, and began my... Continue Reading
The day before I came into program, I had gone to the store after work with the intention of buying something from the bakery that I had been obsessing about. I had been face down in the food for several weeks, and my weight was at an all-time high of 163. I never allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, but lately I couldn’t stop myself and was feeling disgusted with my behavior and my appearance. I was bloated and felt uncomfortable in my skin, and my clothing didn’t fit well. I felt very depressed and knew that I should try FA, but I was going to have one last food binge. They were out of the bakery item I wanted, so I was prowling the aisles to find something that would satisfy my cravings for sweets, when I saw that the “day old” bags contained many items, including the... Continue Reading
I’m a 23-year old food addict living in Costa Rica and have been interested in food as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of me trying to sneak food behind my mothers back, and some of my earliest resentments are against my mother for not letting me eat everything I wanted. I was born in California, but my family moved to Costa Rica almost 11 years ago so my mom could go back to school. I didn’t really have a stable upbringing, but the move my parents’ country of origin brought a whole new dimension of instability. I didn’t know the language too well, and I wasn’t very attractive at that time, so the kids didn’t really feel a need to be nice to me. I had a hard time in high school, and food was my main outlet. There was an abundance of bakeries... Continue Reading
Surrender—a word I have been defining and re-defining since I came into FA seven years ago. Did you catch that? A word I have been defining? I have been re-defining? Every time someone suggested I surrender—could be anything—I tried to figure out just what that meant. Time and again, I came up with a definition that went something like this: To surrender: do it (whatever “it” happened to be) someone else’s way this time, then next time I get to do it my way. It is a process of negotiation, compromise, barter. For example, when I first came through the doors of FA I was vegetarian and about 15 pounds underweight. Before the person I had tapped for a sponsor agreed to sponsor me, she asked me two questions: “Are you willing to be open-minded about being vegetarian?” and, “Are you willing to be open-minded about your weight? Translation: Are... Continue Reading
