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Revised Pamphlet: Some Thoughts on Sponsoring

This revision to the pamphlet Some Thoughts on Sponsorship is proposed for the agenda of the 2025 World Service Business Convention

Tool of Sponsorship. We ask an FA sponsor to guide us through the recovery program on every level: physical, mental, and spiritual. Ours is a program of attraction. Find a sponsor who has what you want and ask how it was achieved.

Introduction

Many FA members feel that sponsoring is one of life's greatest privileges. Nothing compares to the deep happiness we feel when we see a despairing member find recovery and experience the promises of the program.

FA’s approach to sponsorship is distinct from that of other Twelve Step programs. Because we have to eat every day, and quantities can be as dangerous to us as flour and sugar, we need the guidance of the Twelve Steps and the consistent, ongoing support of a sponsor to attain and maintain abstinence. Anything less is simply another diet.

This booklet will explore the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of the disease of food addiction before offering specific, practical guidance. We hope you will find it useful.

Why do we sponsor?

We sponsor because:

passing on the program guards against our own complacency and dishonesty, reminding us that regardless of how many years we have been abstinent, we, too, are powerless over food and have relief from addiction only one day at a time.
when we help a sponsee better understand addiction and abstinence, we ensure that the message of recovery will be passed on, strengthening all of us.
sponsoring allows us to overcome self-centeredness through service to others.
witnessing a food addict recover reinforces our faith that the FA program works.

When can I start sponsoring?

Typically, FA members are ready to sponsor when we:

have maintained continuous abstinence for at least six months while working with an FA sponsor.
are actively using the tools and practicing the Twelve Steps in our daily lives.

How do we get started with a sponsee?

Whether our new sponsee has no experience with the program or has been in FA for years, we take the same approach.

We ask if they identify as a food addict.

If they aren’t sure, we can suggest reading “The Twenty Questions,” “Food Addiction and the FA Solution,” and the first two chapters of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous, which clearly lay out the disease and solution.

We give them time to understand food addiction.

Some sponsees may not know at first if this program is right for them. As long as they remain open-minded and willing, we can continue working with them.

We guide them in their abstinence, defined as weighed and measured meals with nothing in between, no flour, sugar, and the avoidance of any individual binge foods.

We provide a food plan. Typically, we pass on the same food plan our sponsor initially gave us, but we may need to make adjustments, taking into consideration any food allergies, sensitivities, or other individual needs of our sponsee.
If a sponsee has medical issues, we ask them to discuss their food plan with a healthcare professional. If necessary, we adjust accordingly. See the “How Do We Address Medical Concerns?” section below.
We respect a wide variety of dietary requirements and needs.
We ask sponsees to write down their food plan and commit it to us on our daily phone call. We explain that anything eaten outside of or beyond our committed meals – including extra bites, licks while cooking, etc. – is considered addictive eating and not abstinent.
We explain how to keep food simple, which helps to remove the obsession and cravings of food addiction. We help sponsees decide which foods to choose and how to prepare them.
We suggest reasonable mealtimes, sharing how this can prevent us from getting too hungry and breaking our abstinence. We have found that this helps to bring structure to our often unmanageable lives.
We recommend that sponsees avoid eating in restaurants for the first 90 days, if possible, so that they can learn how to determine the correct quantities and avoid temptation. When they’re ready, we teach them how to make appropriate choices when eating out.
We suggest that they weigh themselves at regular intervals, such as once a month, to avoid becoming obsessed with the scale or weight. Sponsees who are underweight or close to goal weight may need to weigh themselves more frequently.

We provide support.

We schedule a daily, uninterrupted fifteen-minute time block to take our sponsee’s call. To maintain anonymity, we each find a private place to talk and sit quietly without multi-tasking so we can focus on the conversation.
We answer any questions about the program and encourage sponsees to discuss how they experienced food addiction before finding recovery.
We might encourage sponsees to read the Living Abstinently booklet, alone or with us, as it is a great basis for discussion.
When they talk about life challenges, we listen with empathy, and if appropriate, we share how we apply the principles of recovery to challenges in our own lives. We remind sponsees that they can ask their Higher Power for help throughout the day.
We remind them to take their recovery one day at a time.

How can we begin to explain the three-fold nature of addiction?

While many newcomers come to FA focused on weight or their obsession with food, we can explain to them that a food plan alone is rarely sufficient treatment for a disease that is mental and spiritual, as well as physical. Sharing our own experience with the three-fold nature of this disease, we help sponsees view their behaviors through the lens of addiction and understand the need for guidance beyond a food plan.

Physical

Many newcomers are initially dissatisfied with their body size and see losing or gaining weight as the goal of recovery. By encouraging our sponsees to focus on the addiction to flour, sugar, and quantities, rather than on attainment of a particular body size, we can help them understand that physical recovery is often the result of abstinence, rather than the goal.
If sponsees experience cravings, mood swings, fatigue, or headaches after starting the food plan, we can explain that these are often signs of withdrawal from an addictive substance — in this case, flour and sugar.
When sponsees lose weight, we might encourage them to consider it a benefit of abstinence to be grateful for, rather than viewing weight loss as a personal accomplishment.

Mental

Without acting as mental health practitioners, we help sponsees understand that we are addressing an addiction rather than an eating disorder or a lack of willpower. The inner conflict that comes from eating when we want to lose weight, exercising when we are sick, purging when our teeth are decaying, isolating when we’re lonely, committing to an event and failing to show up, or overcommitting when we need to rest, is evidence of an unmanageable life as addressed in Step One.
Experience has led us to believe that food addiction in any form – overeating, restricting, controlling, obsessing, purging – is a form of self-abuse that can be arrested by working the FA program of recovery.

Spiritual

We share with our sponsees that while some addicts can temporarily stop eating addictively using willpower, over time, self-will ultimately fails and the disease progresses. We can explain the importance of a spiritual solution with this quote from the Big Book: “We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.”^[1]
Some sponsees may come into the program with strong religious beliefs, but our experience has shown us that our spiritual problem is not necessarily a lack of faith or a need to believe in God; it is an inability to use that faith to overcome our addiction. To maintain abstinence, we need to rely on a Higher Power for the willingness to stop eating addictively, one day at a time.

How do we talk about spiritual recovery?

Some newcomers hesitate when asked to turn to a Higher Power for help with their food addiction. Whether they are atheists or belong to a specific faith, we encourage them not to confuse spirituality with religion.

We may or may not define a Higher Power.

We might begin by asking sponsees to keep an open mind about asking for help from a power greater than themselves. While a sponsee’s Higher Power might take the form of a deity, it may take no specific form at all. The power of the fellowship, the wonder of the universe, the principles of the Twelve Steps are some of the ways members have defined this power, but no specific definition is necessary.

We explain that sustained recovery comes from surrender, not willpower.

Some food addicts are able to follow a food plan and even reach their goal weight using willpower alone, but in our experience, they are usually not able to maintain abstinence for a sustained period of time.

As recovering addicts, we practice surrender by taking concrete actions regardless of our feelings. Every time we prepare an abstinent meal, prioritize quiet time, attend an FA meeting, or make a gratitude list – even when we don’t feel like it – we are surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.

Getting on our knees or adopting some other physical posture of humility to ask a Higher Power for help serves as a reminder that we are not in control.

Fostering trust

We help our sponsees develop a feeling of trust by sharing openly about our personal sorrows, struggles, joys, failures, and feelings of fear, anger, guilt, or shame. We invite our sponsees to discuss whatever might be on their minds so that they can see that they are not alone or different.

We acknowledge doubt and encourage questions.

Many sponsees will share that they have doubts or are struggling with certain aspects of the program. We let them know that their questions and occasional feelings of resistance are not unusual. Drawing on our own experience, we answer their questions as best we can. This spirit of openness and dialogue is a powerful way to establish trust.

We respect anonymity and privacy.

Our sponsees may share sensitive aspects of their lives with us. We do not divulge confidences or talk about them with others.

We listen reflectively.

Our immediate tendency can be to leap in and offer advice, but we are most useful if we first try to understand. Repeating in our own words what we think our sponsee is trying to express can reduce miscommunication by giving them an opportunity to clarify what they meant. We are then better prepared to make a suggestion that supports recovery.

We encourage sharing.

Some sponsees might not know what to talk about on daily phone calls or may feel reluctant to share about themselves. We can start by asking questions about their relationship with food before FA. We can also prompt discussion by reading selections from the literature and asking our sponsee how the reading applies to their life. Sometimes, we can begin by sharing about ourselves, as this may make sponsees more comfortable opening up to us.

We practice empathy.

Our sponsees may have life situations that we have not experienced. When they feel comfortable enough to reveal their personal struggles, we gently encourage them to use the tools of the program as they move through these challenges. It can be helpful for sponsees to connect with other FA members who have similar experiences. If it sounds like they may need to consult a professional, we remind them that self-care is a form of recovery, and we support them in seeking outside help when necessary.
Sharing our own stories, we identify with our sponsees so they don’t feel alone. We emphasize that showing compassion to ourselves, practicing acceptance, and relying on a Higher Power can help us face challenging situations and feelings without turning to food.
We validate their experiences, explaining that it is possible to feel gratitude and grief at the same time. Practicing gratitude does not mean they aren’t entitled to feelings of anger, loss, and sadness.

We offer suggestions and principles, not rules.

It is said that food addicts are people who are allergic to flour, sugar, and being told what to do. To best help our sponsees, we learn to approach everything as a conversation, listening well and asking questions rather than giving commands, proclaiming rules, or making demands. While we may offer suggestions, our sponsees must ultimately make their own choices.
We are most effective when we use our own experience to explain why we believe that our suggestions support continuous, contented abstinence.

How do we address medical concerns?

A sponsor is not a doctor, therapist, social worker, clergy member, nutritionist, or life coach. While some of us may be employed in one of these professions, our role as sponsors is to share our own experiences, passing on the program that has worked for us. We do not give advice on medical or mental health treatments.

We refer our sponsees to medical practitioners when necessary.

Members with medical conditions related to food addiction, those who have had bariatric surgery, are pregnant or breastfeeding, are teenagers or elderly, and any others with medical concerns, should be guided to share their food plan and seek advice from their healthcare practitioner.

We make adjustments.

When necessary, we make modifications according to a healthcare professional’s recommendations. Our sponsees must be honest with themselves and their practitioners about the nature of food addiction so we can develop an alternate food plan that both meets their dietary needs and supports their recovery.

We give no advice on medication.

FA sponsors cannot and should not give direction or advice regarding medication of any kind including medication taken for mental health conditions. We leave such matters to the sponsee and their healthcare practitioner. We speak only as recovering food addicts.

How do we guide sponsees after the first 90 days?

As the sponsor-sponsee relationship evolves, we continue to offer guidance on topics such as:

Speaking after 90 days.

When a sponsee reaches 90 days of continuous abstinence, they can share and qualify at meetings. We remind them to practice humility by asking a Higher Power for help, avoid performing, and focus on their experience in active food addiction.
When talking about weight loss, we encourage our sponsees to speak of abstinence as a gift from a Higher Power, not an achievement or a success based on effort.
We recommend that they speak from the heart, remembering what they needed to hear when they were new.

Losing weight.

For many, losing weight is a time of mixed emotions including elation, relief, exhaustion, and vulnerability. Some people welcome attention while others resent comments about their bodies. We remind our sponsees that these feelings will pass, encouraging them to acknowledge their discomfort and turn to a Higher Power with gratitude.

Gaining weight.

For those who enter FA underweight, letting go of control over what they eat and what they weigh can be a terrifying process. Many don’t experience the elation common for newcomers who are losing weight, and they sometimes struggle to identify as food addicts. These sponsees might need reminders that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating addictively.
We celebrate that they are no longer hurting themselves with food physically or emotionally.

Reaching a maintenance weight.

Arriving at a healthy weight can be an exciting milestone for physical recovery, but if a sponsee forgets the threefold nature of the disease, they risk becoming complacent. If so, they are in danger of returning to active addiction. We continue discussing our powerlessness over food and the unmanageability of our lives.
We encourage sponsees to keep their food simple as they maintain their new weight.
We let our sponsees know that their weight may change over time. We ask them to weigh themselves at certain intervals, as we do, so that changes can be noted and food plans adjusted accordingly.

Reducing the frequency of daily phone calls.

Most sponsees eventually reach a point where they don’t need to call every day but there is no set timeline for reducing phone call frequency. Food addicts benefit from regular contact, and it’s not uncommon for members with several years of continuous abstinence to maintain regular call times with their sponsor.
We explain that a reduction in call times is not a graduation; in fact, without daily calls, sponsees need to rely more deeply on a Higher Power and their fellowship. If they are not ready for this step, we do not reduce call frequency.
At certain times, it might help to increase the frequency of calls, such as when our sponsees are facing particularly challenging life circumstances.

Doing Service

We encourage our sponsees to attend business meetings and volunteer for service positions.
After a minimum of six months, when we see that our sponsees are using the tools and living the Steps to the best of their ability each day, we encourage them to sponsor. We remind them that they are only asked to share their own experience of addiction and recovery, and we offer support, reminding them that no one sponsors alone.
Eventually, we might suggest that they become involved at the chapter, intergroup, or World Service level.

Practicing the Twelve Steps.

In order to achieve contented abstinence, recovering FA members work the Twelve Steps in sequence, using a method focused on food addiction and requiring abstinence throughout each Step. When they are working the Twelve Steps, we encourage sponsees to talk about how the spiritual principles of the Steps relate to their lives.

How do we manage disagreements with our sponsees?

If there are conflicts, we can remind our sponsees that these are to be expected in long-term relationships. We work the Tenth Step, acknowledging our mistakes and making amends to our sponsees when necessary. In this way, we remind our sponsees that we, too, are recovering food addicts, and we are always in the process of learning.

How do we address a break in abstinence?

It can be disappointing and painful for both sponsor and sponsee when a sponsee breaks their abstinence. We respond without judgment or shame, inviting our sponsee to share honestly about what preceded the break rather than just encouraging a sponsee to “simply resume.” Breaks are opportunities to look under the hood together to see what’s going on. If a sponsee is willing to be honest with their sponsor and with themselves, breaks can be a turning point and lead to clarity.

We talk openly, without judgment.

When our sponsee shares what happened, we listen with curiosity and empathy, rather than blame or criticism. We remind them that having a break is not a moral issue.
We invite our sponsees to share anything on their minds, including prior breaks they have not revealed. We might ask if their measurements were exact, if they overate in restaurants, if they justified snacking on items free of sugar and flour, if they sometimes took an extra nibble or overpoured their salad dressing. These revelations can be a relief to the sponsee. We celebrate these moments of clarity and honesty.
Many food addicts eat addictively when they haven’t accepted their disease by admitting powerlessness over flour, sugar, quantities of food, and often other aspects of their lives. Rereading and discussing the first three Steps together can help our sponsees understand that abstinence depends on surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.
It’s common for a sponsee to point to a difficult life event as the reason for their break. Past experience with our own life events has taught us that we don’t need to eat, no matter what. We share this with our sponsees, inviting them to embrace all aspects of the program–their Higher Power, the fellowship, and the tools of the program–during these challenging times.
Just as we don’t take credit for a sponsee’s abstinence, we should not blame ourselves when a sponsee breaks their abstinence, is dishonest, or leaves the program.

How do we handle parting ways?

When a sponsee repeatedly resists our help and shows an unwillingness to work the program we have shared, it may be time to part ways. Sometimes a sponsee is not ready for the program. Maybe we are just not a good fit. While there is no rule about how long to stay with a sponsee, repeated dishonesty, defensiveness, and anger are indicators. Ultimately, the relationship must support the recovery of both sponsor and sponsee.

We have the courage to let go.

Sometimes, because we grow attached to our sponsees, we stay with them even when they are not working the program we are sharing. Afraid of conflict, we avoid being fully honest or making suggestions we think they won’t like. However, we can only claim to have a solution to food addiction if we are living that solution. We share what we know to be true without compromising our program of recovery.
We avoid shame and blame, explaining that for us to stay abstinent, we must pass on the program that works for us. We seek to part amicably, secure in the understanding that we want different things.

We respect our sponsee’s choices.

There are times when, despite how close we may feel to our sponsees, they choose to move on. Perhaps they have found a new sponsor.
If they have decided to leave FA, we express our caring and good wishes, encouraging our sponsee on their new path. We affirm that they will always be welcome in FA.
If we find ourselves angry or resentful, we can acknowledge the underlying hurt, avoid talking negatively about them, and practice the remedy for resentment found in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. We remind ourselves that ultimately it is a Higher Power—the divine third—that brings a sponsor and sponsee together.

The Joys of Sponsoring

Although no one can learn to sponsor by reading a pamphlet, and no pamphlet can cover every situation, we hope that some of these suggestions will be helpful to you, wherever you are in your journey as a sponsor. If our collective experience has taught us anything, it is that the relationships we gain from sponsoring can be among the most rewarding of our lives.

The joy of sponsoring deepens when our sponsees, in turn, pass the program on to others. Alcoholics Anonymous captures this feeling well:

“To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends – this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.”^[2]