A Story of Recovery:

Abstinent Anywhere, Through Anything

I love my morning bus ride to work. I get to have someone else weave through the rush hour traffic while I relax. Relaxing was something I never did before FA. I was always racing to my diet club meeting, speed walking up and down the city streets, or heading to the gym to work off the slice, or plate, or cup of whatever I had just eaten. 

But today, I wasn’t doing any of that, and I hadn’t done it in the seven years since I’d found FA. Today, I was smiling at strangers, and feeling grateful for the fact that I could sit in one bus seat without spilling over into the next. In fact, I even have room to tuck my purse and my lunch bag next to me every day.

Today was like most days in recovery. I had packed my lunch last night, and this morning I had asked my Higher Power for an abstinent day, taken 30 minutes of quiet time, and eaten a wonderful, abstinent breakfast. I had done everything I knew to do to prepare for the day, which included an all-day conference. Some pretty important people would be there. I was fully prepared to put my best foot forward. Then I glanced at my bag beside me. My lunch bag was not there.

My lunch!? Oh no!  What do I do?

My sponsor’s words came to mind. “We can stay abstinent anywhere through anything.”  And, more than anything, that’s what I wanted to do. But how?

I could take a cab home to grab my lunch bag from the kitchen counter, where I knew I had left it. But then I would have to dodge across town, weaving through rush hour traffic, and then try to find parking on the busy city street. Even on a good traffic day, there was no way I would make it to my meeting on time. The thought of tiptoeing in 45 minutes late and having to face my boss and a room of 35 corporate employees made my heart race.

In a state of panic, I paused, closed my eyes, and did what I had been taught to do for the last seven years. I asked my Higher Power to help me to do the next right thing. When I opened my eyes, I spotted a 7-Eleven. I yanked on the chord to signal the driver to stop the bus. When he reached the next stop, I hopped off and headed for the 7-Eleven. Even in my open-toed high heels, I raced across the parking lot with grace and ease. It is so much easier without the extra 100 pounds I carried for years.

Once inside the store, I again asked my Higher Power for help to gather a simple, abstinent meal. I quickly eyed an apple and the small packages of cheese and baby carrots.

But what about grain?  

Then, I remembered the CVS convenience store next door. I paid for my items and popped over to CVS for some abstinent cereal to complete my meal.

With the self-respect that comes from surrendering, turning to a power greater than myself, and the willingness to go to any length, the next bus met me at the stop as if I had my own personal driver.

I made it to my meeting in time to put my purse and lunch in my front row seat. With the food in its place, I had time to shake my boss’s hand, and even greet other arriving staff with a smile. 

That night, when I got down on my knees to pray, my heart was grateful for another day of abstinence!  I thanked my higher power for answering my prayers for an abstinent day, and for helping me to do the next right thing. 

In FA, I have gotten guidance from my Higher Power and fellows to stay abstinent through blizzards, job changes, power outages, international travel, and surgery. And today was no different. I needed an abstinent meal and HP provided a 7-Eleven and a CVS. Like my sponsor said, “We can stay abstinent anywhere, through anything!”