A Story of Recovery:

Around the World in FA

I first found out about FA when some friends and I were doing our own “mommy” version of The Biggest Loser. We all had toddlers and babies and felt that if we joined forces in a contest, it might motivate us to lose weight as a group effort. We dieted for ten weeks, each doing our own tricks. The winner dropped about 30 pounds by eating abstinently. None of us could believe how much weight she lost during the time frame! While we were secretly jealous of her enormous weight loss, we all agreed that giving up flour and sugar was completely nuts and were convinced it had to be unhealthy. There was no way I could do such a crazy thing.

A few months later, when I became physically unable to walk and had two small children to care for, I changed my mind. Maybe a radical way of eating wasn’t so crazy after all. I was willing to try anything.

In eight months of eating abstinently, I went from 205 pounds to 132 pounds. That was over four years ago. When I started FA, my sponsor drilled a lot of what I thought was crazy nonsense into my head. She said I couldn’t miss a meeting unless I had a one-time life event, like a wedding or a funeral. She told me I had to make phone calls to strangers. She told me I had to tell her every morsel of food I was going to eat each day, and talk to her for 15 minutes each morning. Daily she pried into my personal life. She insisted that I stay after the meetings once a month for the business meeting so I could learn how the meetings worked.  Since I am a people-pleaser, I did these things, but not without a scowl on my face.

But a funny thing started happening. I started to become interested in meetings. I started learning about myself through hearing others share their stories. I began to realize that I wasn’t the only one who had certain thoughts about punishing myself with exercise or food. I began to trust my fellows in the room and realized they were not out to get me, but only wanted to help me. My suspicions began to melt away, and I began to feel a genuine sense of connection.  And all the while, the weight I had carried for so long was melting off me very quickly.

The more I saw the program working in my life, the more willingly I began to work the tools. Phone calls no longer seemed like a chore when I was able to connect with a cheerful voice on the other end of the line. Sometimes people even claimed they were glad to hear from me! They told me strange things like, “Wow, this conversation has helped me so much.”

I was told that “service is slimming,” so I stayed for business meetings and always took a service position. I gained many friends in Program and was reaping the benefits of a large support group.

I completed my first AWOL  (a study of the Twelve Steps) and made even more connections with my fellows. I was able to meet many of these fellows face to face at the FA Fellowship convention in California, which was really wonderful. My resistance to Program steadily faded away as I realized the gifts the Twelve Steps were bringing to my life.

And then I moved halfway around the world—to East Africa.

In my new home, there are no FA meetings. In fact, where I live now, being fat is looked upon as a blessing to be enjoyed by the rich. If you are fat, it means you have the luxury to overeat. It means you are experiencing abundance. Certain tribes even fatten young brides for months before their wedding day!

I had no meetings at which to do service. It was very difficult and costly to make phone calls to fellows outside the country. It was dangerous for me to drive to AA meetings in town.  Finding and preparing my food took much more time and effort than it had in the U.S.

After six months of living in the developing country, I returned to the U.S. for a holiday. I contacted meetings of all the cities I would visit to ask if I could do service by leading a meeting. I have now qualified at two of these meetings. I am not sure I can describe the joy of attending a live meeting after not being at an FA meeting for six months. It is another blessing to be able to call numbers state-to-state on my cell phone without being charged exorbitant sums of money or worry how much each call will cost me. It is a wonder to walk into a grocery store and be able to pick up pre-packaged, portioned abstinent food.

I appreciate having been taught all the disciplines of this program early. I am not sure I would have been able to remain abstinent on my new adventure in East Africa without the foundation I got early in FA. I now appreciate the disciplines and rituals of this program like a thirsty person appreciates a cool glass of water in the desert.

If you think going to meetings is hard, not having meetings to attend is harder. I appreciate all food addicts who have gone before me, teaching me how to make this program portable so I can take it anywhere I go.