A Story of Recovery:
Before I found program at age 14, food was my comfort zone.
I came into the program when I was 14 years old. Before that, I knew I had a different relationships with food than other people but never really knew I was a “food addict.” I just knew that my two thin sisters could eat whatever and whenever they wanted; but that when I ate like that, it showed. My body reacted differently.
For me, one was never enough – I was always asking for seconds and thirds. I had lost my “hunger meter,” and I ate as long as there was something available. I ate when I wasn’t even hungry; but felt bored, tired, happy, sad, excited, or just happened to be sitting in the kitchen. Food was my comfort zone, and I used it to numb my feelings.
I used to be very hard on myself about schoolwork and was in a constant struggle to excel. While studying, I always had a flour or sugar food item with me. It was hard for me to focus on what I was doing – my head was in a huge fog, and I couldn’t think straight. I was constantly thinking of how and where I could get more food.
When I first came to FA, I tried to do the program on my own; but it didn’t work. I didn’t know what I was getting into – I just knew I was attracted to the glow of the abstinent people I saw. At first, I found it difficult going to meetings where the ages ranged from 25 to 70; but that’s gotten easier, as I have learned how to get along with people of all ages.
Being in a healthy body gives me more self-confidence. My relationships have become healthier, and I’m able to think for myself. The fog has lifted. I’ve become more disciplined in my studies – my GPA has gone from a 3.1 to a 3.8 – and I’m now applying to college!
My life has turned a full 180 degrees. The way I was abusing myself with food, I know I was headed for many more years of misery. Having been spared those years, I don’t take this program for granted – I know it is saving my life.