Self-care sounds great in theory—bubble and pedicures; but in real life, self-care is dealing with life on life’s terms, even when those terms are in the form of a world-altering pandemic. My history, along with binge eating, is one of negativity. Alcoholics Anonymous states “[The grouch and the brainstorm] may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” For me, the “brainstorm” includes fear, negativity, anger, and self-pity and whole host of other character defects. This is not to say I never venture down those paths—I am human; however, if I engage in negativity for too long, it will lead me back into the ultimate poison–food. I don’t have TV, but I have become very selective of the media sources I read, and I have also pooled all my work emails related to the pandemic so I can read them at set times during... Continue Reading
It’s been a year and a half since I began FA. I’ve let go of 125 pounds and my life is much different, but I still remember how I dreaded making outreach calls. This was my attitude: I just knew I didn’t have any information that would be helpful to others, and I couldn’t imagine that others would want to have their lives interrupted by me. It was like pulling teeth to force myself to make the calls. I was stuck in a sense of self-sufficiency and isolation. However, I followed my sponsor’s advice to 1) invite my Higher Power along for the calls, and 2) to adopt the revised attitude that I might be surprised at how well the calls would go. Then I started to see the beauty behind our tool of outreach calls. One day, I was getting ready to go on my first business trip after... Continue Reading
Before I was abstinent, the idea of ever getting free from food was as impossible and unlikely as hitching a ride to the moon. I was never very interested in food as a child, but got the idea that I was fat and ugly and should get thinner. So as a teen, I got into starving myself. This progressed to starving and bingeing, then dieting and bingeing, then being unable to diet or control my eating by the time I was 25. Whatever I was doing with food, whether I was under 100 pounds or more than 300 pounds, my thoughts were never far from the obsession about it. FA broke the obsession. I handed my food over to the scales and a sponsor. I fought the FA Program for 10 years. I got abstinent a few times for a few years, and twice lost a large amount of weight... Continue Reading
The Just for Today card suggested that I exercise my soul, stop procrastinating, keep my mouth shut when my feelings were hurt, do nice things for people, and do things I didn’t want to do. My body Shortly before I walked into my first meeting, I was experiencing knee problems so severe that I could not take one pain-free step. Having 221 pounds on a 5’2” frame contributed dramatically to that pain. Doctors didn’t come right out and say it, but I didn’t have to be told. I had arthritis, I was getting older (56 at the time), and I was overweight. I knew I would have to find a way to manage the pain. But God found another way for me. He gave me a visual of a woman my age jogging toward me, and a woman my age in a motorized wheelchair crossing her path. The choice was... Continue Reading
I have been in some form of physical pain almost every day for over 22 years. For many of those years, I tried to numb the pain with food, but once the food was gone, the pain came back. I’m not even sure if the food helped with the pain, but it was a temporary distraction. As long as I was focused on shoveling food in my face, I didn’t have to focus on the pain. Being obese was certainly not helpful, considering most of my pain was in my back and hips. Carrying around an extra 120 pounds (54.5 kilos) is never a good idea. I’ve been in FA now for five-and-a-half years. Aside from a few breaks, none of which, thank you God, took me out of FA, or led to a long relapse, I have been blessed with strong recovery, and life has improved in many areas.... Continue Reading
