When I came into FA, I heard that this program was not a diet and in the beginning I really did not understand that phrase. Besides, isn’t dieting how most people lose weight? But as my years in recovery mounted up, I not only have learned exactly what that means, but am able to be grateful that as long as I am in recovery, I never have to diet again! Believe me, I spent a great deal of my life “dieting”. The first diet I ever did was Weight Watchers and that was when I was seventeen. At that point I was approximately 160 pounds. My Weight Watchers experience didn’t last long and I never really achieved any weight loss. As I got older, my meager attempts to lose weight included amphetamines, which I got from the health center at the university I was attending. By then I weighed around... Continue Reading
Before I came into FA I had plenty of internal dialogue. Thoughts such as “better grab something now before I get hungry” and “whelp, today is already ruined, I will re-start my diet tomorrow” rattled and raved around in my brain constantly. These voices were strengthening my disease, while weakening my will and spirit, and eventually diminishing all hope that I would ever gain control of my weight. I was tired of failed attempts to diet. I had always tweaked, adjusted and altered every diet I ever tried. So when I came into FA, I declared I would do every crazy thing suggested, that way I could say the reason FA didn’t work was my sponsor’s failure, not mine. For me, active food addiction equaled isolation. In the beginning, the hardest tools for me were the ones that required me to interact with other people; the telephone and meetings. My... Continue Reading
I was 22 years old when I came into FA and lost 150 pounds. After a life of crazy relationships when in the food, I broke up with the addict I was living with when I came into FA, and I was ready to get right into the healthy dating game. However, this area of recovery was a very slow one for me, and I had to learn how to date in a saner way. After several serious relationships that did not result in marriage, I moved from Boston to Washington, DC, single. I moved to Washington, D.C. for a job, and I had pretty much given up on dating. I thought that I needed to surrender, and although I really wanted to get married and have a family, I figured that if it had not happened in 10 years of recovery, maybe God had a different plan for my... Continue Reading
At my first FA meeting, I was angry. I weighed 243 pounds (110.2 k) and was humiliated that I had to be in what I thought was “group therapy” for fat people. The funny thing was that only three of us in the room were fat. The rest of the members were slim, and I thought for sure they knew nothing about food addiction or being overweight. I decided that I would play the game. I would simply go along with them in order to get the food plan. I’d go to meetings long enough to lose my weight, and then I would vanish and live a happy life as a skinny person, riding off into the sunset. It is six and a half years later, and I do live a happy life and am in a right-sized body. However, I have not vanished from FA. I didn’t leave FA... Continue Reading
As I sit in my airplane seat I am grateful for the plenty of room I have to rest comfortably – even with my seat belt on! I sit here at 131 pounds, heading home from the Business Convention. Ten years ago I came into program weighing 318 pounds – having been heavy my whole life. I believe my highest weight was almost 400 pounds. Before program I gave up on flying because I had been humiliated one too many times as a morbidly obese woman on an airplane. My dad traveled internationally for his job, and I have fond memories of my mom packing my sister and I into the car to send my dad off, or go pick him up at the airport. From a very early age, flying was a wonderful event and came with compelling stories of unique places and people around the world. As I... Continue Reading
