I had already lost my weight. My top weight was 320 pounds. I was down to 150 pounds. I’d had my weight off for about five years by the time I started dating Mark. I had known of him because we went to the same church for several years, but never really knew him. Mark had been divorced for maybe three years and I was separated from my husband for about three years. I had no plans for ever dating or marrying. I had had enough of that. I had a full life, committed to my God and my church. I had my own home and business and a full circle of friends and a big family that I was also committed to. I had a secret. Though I looked great on the outside, I knew my body was ravaged by the disease of food addiction. What I’m talking about... Continue Reading
From my earliest memory, I always had an issue with food. I loved food, especially sweet flour and sugar products. I couldn’t get enough. I always wanted meals as big as those of my brothers and dad, and it didn’t seem fair if I didn’t get what they had. The biggest part of my journey commenced when I was about 36 years old. A guy I was dating left me—he stated that I was too good for him. In truth, we met when I was dieting and he left when the weight came on. This was a pattern in my life: I would diet, meet a man, then put the weight on, and then they would leave. After this particular relationship, I attended a workshop called Relationships and You, in which a woman spoke to me about recovery and suggested that I attend Overeaters Anonymous (OA). This was the beginning... Continue Reading
I was a premature twin at birth, which resulted in my having sight in only one eye. In elementary school, I was picked on for being different. I never felt like I fit in or was accepted. I was chunky, which made me even more awkward than the other kids, and this, combined with my crossed eyes and extreme near-sightedness, made me feel like I could never measure up. At 12, my parents separated because of my dad’s excessive drinking. I was able to start over again in school when Mom moved me and my siblings to the Panama Canal Zone to work as a registered nurse. In Panama, I grew up and “found” myself. I was exposed to another culture and I learned some Spanish, played a little guitar and matured overall. The kids there didn’t make fun of me because most of them were from military families and... Continue Reading
I didn’t come into willingly. I was very angry and full of remorse and resentments. I weighed 347 pounds. However, that was not my top weight. I had been 360 pounds prior to my Vertical Banded Gastroplasty better known as a VBG. I lost 80 pounds in 3 months and it was back before I knew it was ever off my body. The surgeon recommended a support group for all patients who had the weight loss surgery. My life was a mess. I was over indulging in flour and sugar products after exercising vigorously on the elliptical machine. I would be in excruciating pain. Nonetheless, I would go over to the Walgreens and buy six of the sugar products they had on sale. The more exercise I did, the more I ate. I felt like the exercise gave me permission to eat whatever I wanted. One day I met this... Continue Reading
I had been in FA for about six weeks when I went to a café with a neighbor in my tiny, quaint home town. It was warm and cozy as we stood in line waiting to order, and I looked in the curved glass case at the food items I used to buy. I noticed a particular baked item that someone had decorated in a unique and beautiful way. Both my food addict brain and my artist’s heart were entranced. I mentioned it to my friend. “Isn’t that the prettiest, most beautiful item like that you’ve EVER seen?” “Oh, yes,” she said. We ordered our beverages and went out into the sweet air and fall sunshine to sit on the patio. I began telling her about the new program I was in. “You know, I think I might be a food addict,” I said. “Oh, no! I don’t think you... Continue Reading
