I cannot believe how healthy I am today. I am 34 pounds (over 15 kilos) lighter and am healthy beyond imagination. I found out about Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) after talking to a psychologist friend of mine about my eating habits. I used to beat myself up in front of the mirror, be disgusted with my body and, most importantly, feel disgusted with the man I had turned into. I told my friend that I didn’t have breakfast, only ate lunch if I went out with my coworkers, and then went home to raid the fridge and pantry as if it was my last day on earth. Then I topped it off with sugar products and watched TV until it was time to go to bed. I told myself I would start fresh the next day, but I never did. I told him that I didn’t understand why ... Continue Reading
My wife had prepared and weighed my salad and said, “Here ya go.” It was time for me to add my salad dressing. Earlier that day, the dinner I had committed to my sponsor included eight ounces of salad with one tablespoon of vinegar and oil for a fat. After measuring and pouring on my fat, I opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottled dressing and poured some on my salad, telling myself, “Nobody will know; it doesn’t matter.” My wife uses other things on her salad that I, as an abstinent person, would not; but I sprinkled some on my salad anyway and ate more by hand. Over the years, I would do this time and time again. My dishonesty would mask itself but, being a man of integrity, it would always come back to haunt me in guilt. I would go to meetings where my fellows would... Continue Reading
Before I go any further, I should tell you, I’ve never been in a real prison; not the kind you are thinking, anyway. I’ve never even had any trouble with the law. No, my prison was of my own making. I had built it up around me, one block and one bar at a time. By the time I was well into middle age, I was securely “locked up,” with no escape in sight. When I was young, as far back as I can recall, I was called “fat boy,” “tubby,” and other unkind names, more than I care to mention here. There is an old saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Well, truth be known, the names did hurt me; at least they hurt my feelings. The name calling got me into trouble because I would retaliate. Despite my size, I... Continue Reading
I walked in the doors of fa at 295 lbs., my physical recovery was only the beginning. At the request of my sponsor, I wrote out five gratitudes a night for several years. Writing out the gratitudes helped me develop an attitude of gratitude. Then it hit me, I became more grateful for what I had than what I didn’t have. Later, I realized I was not only grateful for life but that life was really awesome. Later still, I saw God in everything. All this was a big change, coming from a guy who was chronically suicidal. I learned I had an all or nothing attitude. I was like a light switch. When I was on, I was totally on and when I was off, I was completely off. I needed to have balance in my life. I had to work at living in the gray zone. I had... Continue Reading
I am a father of four incredible children, now between 3 and 13 years of age. Prior to entering recovery in FA four years ago, I never viewed my children as assets whom I could cherish. I saw them as a burdens for me, because they never did what I wanted them or needed them to do. They seemed to be in the habit of not listening to my wife or me. I thought of parenting as hard work. If only the children just did what I told them to do and stayed out of my way! After being in recovery for a couple of years, I was well and truly at my healthy body weight (some 45 pounds lighter), when my 8-year-old son gave me one of the most profound experiences in my short life in recovery.It happened to be the Jewish New Year, and at school my son... Continue Reading
