When I came to this program over 12 years ago, I was a “free spirit.” I was (and still am) a freelance musician, with places to go and people to see. I didn’t want anything to hold me down from being able to get up and go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I wanted to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I didn’t want to do my laundry or clean my home. I never wanted to make plans with friends, in case something better came along. Well, nobody was more surprised than I was how I took to the structure and discipline of the FA program like a duck to water. I wasn’t too keen on weighing and measuring, because I was sure there must be a more “natural” way, but I was willing and full of relief. For the first time ever, I didn’t have to figure... Continue Reading
This year the U.S. government initiated a very successful stimulus program that allowed many Americans to trade in their old, inefficient, gas-guzzling cars for new, efficient models, under the Cash for Clunkers Program. Though I didn’t trade in an old car to FA, I do feel like I traded my old clunker in for a brand-new body, mind, and spirit. For years, I had abused my body with food, swelling to 70 pounds over my normal size, feeling hopeless and completely helpless about food. My body, mind, and spirit could only be described as a total car wreck. My bloated body was grinding gears and straining under all the extra weight. My painful joints creaked constantly. I never drove too far or went up many hills without gasping for air. Turning over my engine in the morning was almost impossible. I fueled my body with numerous cups of high-test caffeine... Continue Reading
I came to FA at the age of 47, after 16 years of trying in other Twelve-Step programs to string together some long-term abstinence. Once I had lost 78 pounds, and another time I lost 100 pounds, only to see it fall apart. I watched all that weight come rapidly back on. When I found FA, I knew I had my answer, and was determined to shut off my head and follow directions. I lost 80 pounds and found a level of serenity I had never imagined. So how did I find myself having a slip and starting over? It was a slow decline. After being divorced for many years and with a new thin body, I decided I was ready to start meeting men again. I discussed this with my sponsor and began Internet dating. After several less-than-enchanting experiences, I met a charming, handsome, successful, alcoholic lawyer who I was crazy about. I... Continue Reading
When I came into FA in August 2006 at the age of 30, I was 5’ 4” tall and weighed 210 pounds. I heard that the disease of food addiction is threefold: mental, physical, and spiritual. Therefore, I understood that the solution as laid out in this program is also mental, physical, and spiritual. But I can be a slow learner. I never fully surrendered to the spiritual and mental aspects of the program. I rarely took the suggested 30 minutes of quiet time, and my AA Big Book and my Twenty-Four Hours a Day book didn’t see much action. I made phone calls only when I felt like it, and I certainly didn’t ask my Higher Power for help. One month after coming into program, my husband of 10 years and I separated. Sometimes I thought I would go out of my mind from the stress of it. We... Continue Reading
Early in Program, I heard an FA member say, “My will to do things was so strong that I changed the carpet in the living room without moving the furniture.” That story stuck with me, because that was my life when I was in food addiction. I had run marathons while working full time, and I didn’t get enough rest or sleep. At other times in my life, I had worked full time, ran in races, went to school full time, and got married, all during the same time period. I experienced intense obsession with my body image. I was bulimic and had an overeating and exercise addiction. My life lacked boundaries and clarity, and I certainly had no hope for any kind of peaceful balance in my life. When I was introduced to the principle that Program comes first, then family, then work, it was the beginning of a... Continue Reading
