When I came into FA in August 2006 at the age of 30, I was 5’ 4” tall and weighed 210 pounds. I heard that the disease of food addiction is threefold: mental, physical, and spiritual. Therefore, I understood that the solution as laid out in this program is also mental, physical, and spiritual. But I can be a slow learner. I never fully surrendered to the spiritual and mental aspects of the program. I rarely took the suggested 30 minutes of quiet time, and my AA Big Book and my Twenty-Four Hours a Day book didn’t see much action. I made phone calls only when I felt like it, and I certainly didn’t ask my Higher Power for help. One month after coming into program, my husband of 10 years and I separated. Sometimes I thought I would go out of my mind from the stress of it. We... Continue Reading
Early in Program, I heard an FA member say, “My will to do things was so strong that I changed the carpet in the living room without moving the furniture.” That story stuck with me, because that was my life when I was in food addiction. I had run marathons while working full time, and I didn’t get enough rest or sleep. At other times in my life, I had worked full time, ran in races, went to school full time, and got married, all during the same time period. I experienced intense obsession with my body image. I was bulimic and had an overeating and exercise addiction. My life lacked boundaries and clarity, and I certainly had no hope for any kind of peaceful balance in my life. When I was introduced to the principle that Program comes first, then family, then work, it was the beginning of a... Continue Reading
I’m not really a food addict—I have a few pounds to lose, but really I’m not like these people, I thought as I sat in the back of the room. That was two years and 35 pounds ago, 55 pounds from my highest weight, weight that I had been losing and gaining for 30 years on one diet after another. I knew I needed FA, but I really didn’t believe I was a food addict. I couldn’t see myself as I was. In fact, I got miffed when people jokingly insinuated that “we” could stand to lose a few pounds. How dare they put me in the same “fat boat” as they were in! I could clearly see where others needed to lose weight, but couldn’t see it in myself. I was coming off yet another Weight Watcher’s jag when my sister joined FA. I thought that was great for... Continue Reading
I had spent so much effort trying to lose weight while still trying to eat my way. One door after another had closed to me, and I was definitely at my end. When I came into FA, I was told that FA was “the last house on the block.” It was true. There was really only one question to ask myself: If this is the last house on the block, why would I want to be homeless? Why not just pay attention to the landlady, my sponsor, and move in? I like this new address, my excess weight is gone, and the extreme home makeover going on is my reason to stay.
At my first FA meeting, I was greeted by a woman who told me that she had lost 40 pounds. My ears perked up. Then the room began to fill with thin women. But I was confused. I thought that this might be a meeting for thin women who considered “overweight” to be an extra 10 to 15 pounds. I stayed because I figured I could learn something from people who were thin. The meeting began. Then I heard, in the format, the part about completely abstaining from flour and sugar. Right then I lost all hope. This, I thought, was impossible. What was there to eat besides flour and sugar products? At the break, a woman approached me and showed me her picture. She was once over 300 pounds! I regained my sense of hope, but I just didn’t think I could go without flour and sugar. I left... Continue Reading
