At my first FA meeting, I was angry. I weighed 243 pounds (110.2 k) and was humiliated that I had to be in what I thought was “group therapy” for fat people. The funny thing was that only three of us in the room were fat. The rest of the members were slim, and I thought for sure they knew nothing about food addiction or being overweight. I decided that I would play the game. I would simply go along with them in order to get the food plan. I’d go to meetings long enough to lose my weight, and then I would vanish and live a happy life as a skinny person, riding off into the sunset. It is six and a half years later, and I do live a happy life and am in a right-sized body. However, I have not vanished from FA. I didn’t leave FA... Continue Reading
Twenty years ago, I saw a new doctor for a package of symptoms including arthritis, aches and pains, and depression. She explained the results of a battery of blood tests, exam results, and consultations. Then she diagnosed my only real medical problem—obesity. She handed me the FA leaflet and suggested I consider the program. I resisted. I had been in OA and hadn’t lost enough weight to matter, had a history of serious dieting, and had given up. Other than a few light mentions of the benefits of weight reduction, no other doctor had ever confronted me about my weight or used that word (obesity) in connection with me. I was angry and resentful. It took me three months before I came into FA. My sponsor suggested I try making three calls after breakfast and not think too much about what I was going to say. In the past, I... Continue Reading
I have struggled with addictions my whole life. I grew up in an abusive home, and my coping mechanism then was to disappear to my safe spot, an old grist mill that was near our house. I spent hours there, sitting at the top of the third story, looking out the windows. Everything seemed so far away and I was safe. Things got a bit better when I was eleven and my dad left. Unfortunately, my mom was fighting her own demons and depression had set in with her. She became addicted to sleeping pills and used them as her escape, which made our lives hell. At thirteen, I found my own escape in alcohol, and in my later teens, I discovered diet pills. My friend’s mom had them prescribed from her doctor, and my friend and I used them regularly. I was able to get more and better ones... Continue Reading
Last summer while I was traveling home from the annual Boston business convention, I boarded my plane and couldn’t wait to land in California by noon and have my abstinent lunch with my fiancé. There was no reason that I could think of why I wouldn’t be landing on time; my plane was on time, the passengers and pilot were all ready for takeoff, and I was excited to be home soon. However, as we were approaching our takeoff strip, our plane was suddenly hit on the ground by another plane that wanted to take off at the same time. Wow! The wing was severely damaged and we would be stuck in Boston indefinitely. I was so angry because now I would not be able to spend the entire day in California with my fiancé, and I would have to go through the headache of rescheduling my flight back to... Continue Reading
FA has helped bring sanity to my food and also to many other areas of my life. Before FA, the decisions that I made around money did a lot of damage to myself and others. I can remember being in possession of a car. It was mine (sort of). But when my addict friends towed it, I did nothing about it. I was too busy bingeing and purging to look into the location of my car. Additionally, the people who towed it were my drug dealers, so I didn’t want to bring up any hard conversations. I wanted them to keep supplying me. I also gave away two laptops. I rarely used them. I was too busy bingeing and purging. Learning how to use a computer didn’t really interest me. It didn’t give me a quick enough ‘hit”. Sometimes, in my active addiction days, I would just give money away.... Continue Reading
