It was the day after my latest “first share”–that share after 90 days of back-to-back abstinence. I was in the grocery story buying food for the next day’s meals. I was stressed, I was in a rush, and I was determined to buy the perfect apple. The fruit specialist in this fancy grocery store offered to help by cutting a slice and offering it to me. A few thoughts immediately fired in rapid succession. Oh no! No need to waste a good apple and then How nice of him to do this for me followed by Oooohh, a taste test! I said, “Okay!” and proceeded to eat the slice. It was perfect. Then he offered another slice which I proceeded to eat. I thanked him, bagged my apples, went to the dairy section, selected my items, went to the check-out line, and then gasped when I realized what I had... Continue Reading
My addiction to food began at a very young age. As a kid, I was home alone a lot, and I was not allowed to go outside or be on the phone. I loved sports and playing outside, so TV and movies became boring at some point. The only thing I could think to do was eat. I was back and forth to the refrigerator all day, every day, for some time. When I was ten years old, I left my home to be closer to school and be in a better environment. I desperately wanted to be near my mother. I had a tremendous amount of fear, and the only thing that calmed me was food. Around this time, my mother and guardians started to try to control the way I ate. I was always being watched while in the kitchen and being told what I could and could... Continue Reading
I am on board my fifth cruise as a guest speaker and had a wonderful moment a few days ago that really brought tears to my eyes. Before I tell you about that special moment, I need to explain the miracle of my even being here in the first place. My history is of decades of bingeing, dieting, and over-exercising. I could not pass a buffet without “hoovering” it up! My marriage was in tatters, my body bloated and exhausted, and my life was a complete lie. I was inauthentic and unable to express my feelings and often felt the ferocity of my inner frustrations and deep sadness. I found having three teenage sons, working part-time as a nurse and the pressures of life almost too much to bear. I did, however, seek solace in food and for many years it numbed the pain and gave me some sort of comfort even though... Continue Reading
When I came into FA nine years ago, all I knew was that I was fat, that I wanted to be thin and to have relief from obsession with food, my weight and dieting. When I was given a food plan and a kit of spiritual tools, I got those things almost immediately. It wasn’t long before I realized that this program works. Being thin and free from body and food obsession is just the beginning. I stay in FA, however, because I’m getting so much more! My recent experience in an AWOL (A Way of Life) an in-depth study of the Twelve Steps, demonstrated just one of the many gifts of recovery, the gift of getting to know and accept myself. When I started this AWOL two years ago, it seemed like everyone I knew in FA was participating in one. I had just completed my first AWOL and... Continue Reading
I came into FA at 27 years old, 197 pounds (about 90 kilos), and was living with my boyfriend at the time. We had met in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) about one and a-half years prior, moved in together after six months, and had labeled ourselves as the young AA power couple. We both went to lots of meetings and were known in the AA community. We were in the “in” crowd and life was good, except my food addiction was progressing at rapid speeds. I was in OA (Overeaters Anonymous) prior to coming into FA, and though I was nowhere near what we call abstinent, I wasn’t blackout bingeing daily. At my top weight I was around 250 pounds (about 113 kilos) but for most of my disease, I yo-yoed between 180-200 pounds (about 82-91 kilos). After we had begun living together my disease took off again, as it always... Continue Reading
