A disagreement with my husband and a daughter who didn’t want to talk decimated my serenity one morning–poor me! Negative babbling clattered through my brain. I’m incapable of having a good relationship, I heard. I’ll never learn how to talk to people. I’m just too stupid. Then my cell phone signaled arrival of a text. I frowned at the sender—my sister. My stomach clenched. Our last communication happened over three years ago. What could she want? I gingerly read her message. What became of our mother’s pearl necklace and opal ring? How about the other jewelry you promised we would disburse after mother died? Mother had been gone nearly sixteen years. Why the sudden interest in her jewelry? Was my sister accusing me of selling valuable jewelry? Maybe she thought I’d kept it for myself? I fired off an indignant text denying any knowledge of such items. A series of... Continue Reading
Several years ago, I suffered three concussions in a row. When the final one hit, it was as if my brain and my body just shut down. It seemed like my life got put on pause, while everyone else’s kept going. The pain, sound and light sensitivity, and fatigue were so extreme that I was mainly confined to one room and couldn’t participate in life at all. I was unable to see family or friends, and I couldn’t work, drive, or use my eyes for anything. I was in tremendous pain constantly. I felt desperate, because I had always been told that in order to keep recovery, I had to work all of my tools. In the state I was in, I could hardly do any of my tools. I couldn’t even leave a room. I couldn’t read, go to meetings, or make phone calls. I remember my sponsor calmly... Continue Reading
Once upon a time, some years ago, I joined FA. I was a reluctant joiner. I only came out of complete desperation. I had nowhere else to turn, and a friend familiar with the program was my chaperone. She came to every meeting with me for 6 months. I was not happy about it, but I did it. I called my Sponsor at an early hour even though I had not gotten a full night’s sleep since I was up tending to my 7 month old baby. I went to three meetings per week, even though it was not easy to ask my husband, a worker in high-tech, to be home early enough to take over the children so I could get to a meeting. I spent time preparing my food ahead of time even though my baby and toddler did not share my food plan. I made three calls... Continue Reading
Completing my first 90 days is a true miracle, especially considering this is my second time through the program! Last summer, I reached my highest weight, but I was content with life, or at least that’s what I told myself. I was running my own business, but I felt uncomfortable presenting and being on video because of my weight, even though this was essential for my business success. I knew I had to lose weight, but I didn’t know how. Prior to FA, I was a vegan or vegetarian for years, I followed Macrobiotic diets, and I even went to Weight Watchers—all with short term success. One day I saw a friend who had lost a lot of weight and asked what she was doing. She described FA in such vivid detail that I was hooked instantly. I didn’t hear the parts about attending three meetings or calling people. All... Continue Reading
I walked into the Renaissance Faire and took a deep breath. Mingled with the cool, autumn air and earthy smell of leaves was the aroma of festival food. Before I came into recovery that scent was something I looked forward to every year—the fried foods, the food on sticks, the sugary desserts. I had been going every year since I was a kid and the thing I remembered most, rather than the shows, the games, or the elaborate costumes, was the food. I liked it so much I got a job there and for two years in college my Septembers and Octobers were punctuated by weekends of bingeing on festival treats, so much so that the majority of my meager paycheck went right back into the pockets of the vendors selling the items I liked best. On Sunday nights, knowing that I would have to go another five days without... Continue Reading
