I was very skeptical when I walked through the doors of my first FA meeting. I thought FA was too strict and too structured. I had contempt prior to investigation. Yet my obsession with food had been escalating since my first diet at 16 years old. I was a rollercoaster dieter. I would lose weight only to gain it back over and over again. For more than 40 years I had been trying to control my eating and my weight. Nothing had worked. I am so glad I gave FA a chance. At first, I did what my sponsor and others suggested because I wanted to lose weight. Nowadays, I take suggestions because the results I’ve experienced from doing so are far beyond what I had ever dreamed possible. By working the FA program and surrendering to a power greater than myself, I have been graced with the gift of... Continue Reading
Before joining FA I would have told you I was not an angry person, but since coming into the program I have realized just how angry I used to be. Growing up, I always felt cheated out of the good things that life had to offer. I wanted what everyone else seemed to have: loving parents, a big house, and money to buy the things I wanted. I was always looking for that good life, and I always seemed to end up with the short end of the stick. I became angry with people, places, things, and situations. I got into alcohol and drugs and lost custody of my two younger children, which fueled my anger even more. Then I lost my 16-year-old son to suicide, which pushed me over the edge. When I came into FA three years ago, I weighed 294 pounds and my anger was at an... Continue Reading
When I walked into my first FA meeting, I didn’t know what to expect. Not only had I never been to a 12 step meeting before, I didn’t even know anyone in a 12 step program. It was a Sunday morning, I was 22 years old, and a girl my age was leading the meeting. A few people stood up and said they were available to sponsor. I figured that if I was desperate enough to get myself out of bed at 7 o’clock on a Sunday morning, then I might as well go ahead and ask one of these people to sponsor me even though I didn’t know exactly what that meant. I chose someone who looked friendly and non-threatening, and I asked her to be my sponsor. Having a sponsor tell me exactly what to eat every day was a new concept for me, but I was excited... Continue Reading
My FA friend and I started our drive to the World Service Convention with our usual excitement about being able to spend time with long-term members. While we come from a growing and thriving fellowship, it is young and we only have one person with more than a decade of abstinence. We enjoyed our drive and twelve hours of conversation in the car, and were looking forward to arriving at the Convention. It had been pouring rain the entire day and the roads were slick. As we got within a half hour of the Convention, we were glad that the previous part of our journey was ending. Coming off the Turnpike and navigating a dramatic curve on the slippery road, I lost control of the car. I thought it would just slip and slide a little (my friend later told me she thought we would flip over) but instead we... Continue Reading
My childhood was stormy, and whenever the sky looked dark, I turned to food. My parents divorced when I was four, and I lived with my mother and three older siblings. Fear was a constant in our house. My mother’s first husband was a paranoid schizophrenic, who hurt my mom on a particularly bad night. When my mom’s brother confronted him, they got into a brawl that ended in bloodshed, and my mom’s husband was institutionalized for life. He broke out of the facility more than once, and we lived in fear of his repeated threats toward my mother. My mom’s brother fell into serious addiction, murdered a woman in a drug-induced rage, and called from prison on a regular basis. We were all frightened of him. My mother was single for a long time, with four kids to support. She did her best to keep the cupboards stocked and... Continue Reading
