Before I found FA, I always thought that if something on the outside were different, I’d feel differently. There were a million “if onlys” relating to every single area of my life. If I weren’t overweight, people would like me, I would be popular, and I would have more friends. If I could fit into designer clothes, I’d be part of the “in” crowd and I’d have a boyfriend. Later on, I thought if only it were summer, I’d be happy. If only my mother had done it differently, I would be different. If only my friends would do as I suggested, I would feel differently or be a better friend. A few days ago, I was talking to my sponsor. As has been the case during many of our phone calls over the last few years, the subject was my husband’s career. Over two years ago, when we had... Continue Reading
I was enjoying a peaceful morning. I took my sponsee calls and sat down to enjoy my breakfast, when a text from my assistant came in. Her son was sick, and she had to take the day off to take care of him. I lost it! I am an activities director in a nursing home, so when my assistant is out, I have to take on all of the activities for the day. This was the first day I was going to have a day to myself in the office to do paperwork and get caught up from being out of for ten days on business and personal travel. That day (of course) was a big cultural celebration day with extra activities (and food) to celebrate the Chinese New Year. I had all sorts of unfriendly thoughts going through my mind. I could feel that I was either going to... Continue Reading
I am a pastor’s wife. I am a food addict. When I first walked into the meeting room in the basement of our local hospital, I was very suspicious. I knew nothing about FA, except what I could glean from a connection magazine I found in a doctor’s waiting room. I had figured out it was a program for food addicts, and that food and flour were not eaten. I arrived at my first meeting half an hour late. There were only three people in the room and it felt immensely awkward. I had so many questions and was so thankful for the break, because all the people in the room turned towards me, introduced themselves, and started answering all my questions. They gave me pamphlets and telephone numbers. I took all the information home, read it that night, and within three days, decided that FA was not for me.... Continue Reading
I wanted to be “normal” in my eating. Why should it be a problem when I ate pretty much what I wanted throughout my teenage and early adult years? I may have had some heavy weight gain here and there, but never serious enough to consider my eating a problem. I just needed to back away from the table. I remember my prayer to God after I was so through with myself for not keeping the weight off. At one point, I weighed 230 pounds. I fasted (not eating anything) for one full day, prayed, and turned it over to God. Then I attended my first FA meeting. I was ready to start that night. There was nobody available to sponsor, so the friend who brought me told me she would talk to her sponsor about sponsoring me. I got her phone number, went to the store, and began my... Continue Reading
The day before I came into program, I had gone to the store after work with the intention of buying something from the bakery that I had been obsessing about. I had been face down in the food for several weeks, and my weight was at an all-time high of 163. I never allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, but lately I couldn’t stop myself and was feeling disgusted with my behavior and my appearance. I was bloated and felt uncomfortable in my skin, and my clothing didn’t fit well. I felt very depressed and knew that I should try FA, but I was going to have one last food binge. They were out of the bakery item I wanted, so I was prowling the aisles to find something that would satisfy my cravings for sweets, when I saw that the “day old” bags contained many items, including the... Continue Reading
