I came to FA at the age of 47, after 16 years of trying in other Twelve-Step programs to string together some long-term abstinence. Once I had lost 78 pounds, and another time I lost 100 pounds, only to see it fall apart. I watched all that weight come rapidly back on. When I found FA, I knew I had my answer, and was determined to shut off my head and follow directions. I lost 80 pounds and found a level of serenity I had never imagined. So how did I find myself having a slip and starting over? It was a slow decline. After being divorced for many years and with a new thin body, I decided I was ready to start meeting men again. I discussed this with my sponsor and began Internet dating. After several less-than-enchanting experiences, I met a charming, handsome, successful, alcoholic lawyer who I was crazy about. I... Continue Reading
When I came into FA in August 2006 at the age of 30, I was 5’ 4” tall and weighed 210 pounds. I heard that the disease of food addiction is threefold: mental, physical, and spiritual. Therefore, I understood that the solution as laid out in this program is also mental, physical, and spiritual. But I can be a slow learner. I never fully surrendered to the spiritual and mental aspects of the program. I rarely took the suggested 30 minutes of quiet time, and my AA Big Book and my Twenty-Four Hours a Day book didn’t see much action. I made phone calls only when I felt like it, and I certainly didn’t ask my Higher Power for help. One month after coming into program, my husband of 10 years and I separated. Sometimes I thought I would go out of my mind from the stress of it. We... Continue Reading
Before I was abstinent, the idea of ever getting free from food was as impossible and unlikely as hitching a ride to the moon. I was never very interested in food as a child, but got the idea that I was fat and ugly and should get thinner. So as a teen, I got into starving myself. This progressed to starving and bingeing, then dieting and bingeing, then being unable to diet or control my eating by the time I was 25. Whatever I was doing with food, whether I was under 100 pounds or more than 300 pounds, my thoughts were never far from the obsession about it. FA broke the obsession. I handed my food over to the scales and a sponsor. I fought the FA Program for 10 years. I got abstinent a few times for a few years, and twice lost a large amount of weight... Continue Reading
At my first meeting, I couldn’t relate to the term food addict; addicts poured drugs into their bodies with needles. And, I certainly couldn’t relate to the statement that we had an allergy to sugar and flour; I had no allergies. The hook for me was when I heard the phrase “and our lives had become unmanageable.” That was me inside. Outwardly, I appeared to be a successful professional woman who had my life under control. Even though my original intention, those nine years ago, was to just dabble in the idea of FA meetings, I was blessed with the gift of desperation. I got a sponsor that first night and was abstinent for almost four years. Then I had a break—with a binge of dairy products. But I was sure that I could resume my prior life of abstinence. I was terribly wrong. I experienced over three years of... Continue Reading
When I was living in the disease of food addiction, I hurt myself physically, mentally and spiritually. I was almost 100 pounds (about 45kg) overweight. I hurt myself physically by eating almost exclusively flour and sugar. I had joint pain, sprained ankles, chafed thighs, discomfort from too-tight clothes, and pain from being full after every binge. Day after day after day, with no end in sight. I also did other things to hurt myself physically. I picked at my skin and bit my nails until they bled. Again and again I would pay to for fake nails so that I would stop biting them but it never worked: I would bite the fake nails off. The pain of biting off fake nails that were glued to my nail bed was excruciating, but I couldn’t not bite my nails just like I couldn’t not eat. I hurt myself spiritually; that was... Continue Reading
