A Story of Recovery:
Don’t Stop Kicking
I was the heaviest I had ever been—370 pounds. I almost lost my life and I was using that as an excuse to eat myself to death.
I was in Mexico for a fishing vacation none of us will ever forget. Imagine five days in a tropical paradise, blue cloudless sky, and crystal clear water filled with whales, dolphins and hundreds of tropical birds. Our ship was called the Erik and there were 44 people aboard.
The first day at sea was calm and beautiful as we sailed towards our fishing destination. We went to bed excited as kids on Christmas Eve, dreaming of the fish we were going to catch in the morning.
At two in the morning, a sudden and powerful storm flooded the ship and knocked out power. In my cabin below decks, if you were a fly on the wall you would have seen me wearing my sleep apnea mask with music headphones on top. I was listening to Louis Armstrong sing “What a Wonderful World.”
God sent a guy I had met two days before the trip. He yelled, “Wake up! The ship is sinking!” After he made sure I was awake, he grabbed his life vest off the top bunk and ran out of the cabin.
It was like climbing up hill. One man who stood at the top of the hatch pulled my arm while another pushed me from behind. He said it was not a pretty sight, me at 370 pounds.
I will never forget the terror in the eyes of my shipmates, as they stood braced against the railing of the ship, staring at the angry ocean and wondering if they were going to live or die. A crewman emerged from the hatch wearing a life vest with another in his hand. He gave the vest to the guy standing next to me, turned to me and said, “We have no more life vests. Sorry, señor.”
A powerful wave came over the ship and I found myself in the Sea of Cortez. I was in the water. It was pitch black. People were yelling. The wind was howling. My eyes were burning from gasoline and diesel fuel. Five minutes earlier I was in my bunk. Now I was in the ocean and the Erik had sunk.
For four and a half hours seven of us clung to an ice chest with no food, no water and very little hope. At daybreak we could see islands on the horizon four or five miles away. A guy who had a flotation mat and a life vest gave me the “gift of life.” He gave me his vest. We swam towards the islands, but within three minutes gigantic swells and powerful currents separated us. For the next ten hours I was alone in the ocean fighting for my life. People ask, “What did you think about?” My life flashed across the movie screen of my mind. I hovered on the outside watching myself fight for my life. I thought about family, friends and my Great Dane Hercules. What kept me going was the fact that when my wife was a young child, her father drowned in a boating accident. I could not let her husband drown, so I kept kicking.
Finally, I swam to a deserted island where two local fishermen rescued me.
Over the next three days every time I closed my eyes to sleep I felt like I was back in the ocean treading water. My way of coping with the tragedy was to eat uncontrollably. My boss asked me at a fundraiser why I had gained so much weight. I replied, “I almost lost my life.” I was 370 pounds and growing. I went to a therapist who advised that I was processing the tragedy well. She failed to recognize that my eating was out of control and my weight was ballooning.
Later, I attended a Toastmaster public speaking club meeting. The speaker placed a five-pound bag of flour and a five-pound bag of sugar on the table in front of him. He said, “These are poison and they almost killed me.” He went on to say he had been obese and very sick. His doctor prescribed insulin and high blood pressure medication. The doctor also gave him a flyer from Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous. He joined and lost 110 pounds. At the point I heard this speech, he was medication-free and the picture of health.
I went to the website, found a meeting and joined FA. After six months in the program, I have released 66 pounds and I feel great! Once in the FA program, I returned to San Felipe to lay a wreath in memory of the fisherman who lost their lives and to get closure on this traumatic event. My sponsor and fellows provided unwavering support throughout the trip.
These are the lessons I learned from the ordeal:
1) Never give up keep kicking.
2) People ask how one survives 16 hours in the ocean. One minute to the next minute.
3) You have everything you need to succeed. It is in your heart, soul and mind.
When I stared death in the eye for more than 14 hours, it changed my outlook on life. I believe my life was spared because my work on this earth is not complete. I aspire to inspire before I expire. This is why I share my story of survival at schools and conferences. FA has become a major part of my life; it has improved my relationships with family and friends. FA has improved me physically, mentally and spiritually.