A Story of Recovery:

Eating it All

The people in my childhood family were great cooks. They would cook lots of food, because when they were growing up as children, there were eleven mouths to feed. I was the first maternal grandchild, so I was given 98% of what I wanted.

When I was eleven, I was brought to New York to live with my mother and stepdad. My stepdad would bring me a cold treat every night when he came home from work, and my mom would tell me to have something to eat because we’d had an early dinner. It made my mom happy to know that I was eating, because I was a bit narrow in body type. I had gained many friends who, at that time, took the place of food. I actually started throwing away food so my mom would think I had eaten it. As we moved from place to place, I had fewer friends, and I began again to rely on my old substitutes—food and pets.

As I got older, I became known at family gatherings as the person who would eat all and everything. I became the butt of the food jokes told at these gatherings. I would laugh, but the jokes were a bit insulting to me.

I got married, had a daughter, and got divorced. Then I started dating a man who would feed me anything I liked. We would go to Atlantic City, stay in the best suites, eat in the casino restaurants, and order the best food on the menu. When we would eat in the suite, he would physically feed me my food. At his place, he would cook for me and feed me.

After a year, I decided that this was not a happy situation for me to be in, so I ended the relationship. He became obsessed, and I had to get much legal help to avoid his harassment. He was finally deported.

My daughter got married and became pregnant. She was saddened by her weight gain, so I decided to gain weight with her. After my mother passed, I lost my job, my cat had to be put to sleep, 9/11 occurred, and my nerves were in shambles. Many negative things happened in my life and I became depressed and ate more than ever.

I asked God to help me. One day, while sitting at the computer, God communicated to me: “What do you think your problem is with the weight”? I answered that I had already admitted to my close family and friends that I thought that I was addicted to food. They laughed at me and said that I was just greedy.

Then I searched on the computer and the FA group came up! I started to attend meetings and got a wonderful sponsor. I thank God every chance I get. Through this program, God has helped me blossom into a lovely human being and has helped me to come out of that solemn shell. My daughter and granddaughters gave me a gorgeous doll one mothers day, which made me remember how I use to dress up, and I have tried to go back to dressing up that way ever since. I was easily enraged in the past, but have gained more patience lately. My relationship with my family has become closer since I started reading the Just for Today card and following its suggestions. I have also become more patient and considerate of other people’s points of view. I discuss my feelings more than I did before, instead of stuffing them inside with food.

When I started  FA, I weighed 350 pounds. Now I weigh less than 290 pounds—praise be to God…