A Story of Recovery:

FA to the Rescue

Several years ago my 92-year old mother died, after two years of failing health. She still lived in England, my home country, and I always had been concerned about whether I would be able to be there when she died.

I was fortunate enough to visit her four weeks before she passed away, but the anxiety of when to leave really bothered me. After speaking with my sponsor, I realised that I was totally powerless over the timing as well as the death process. I prayed, and took extra quiet times in order to listen to God’s will for me. The final decision was entirely out of my hands; my mother passed away before I could make it back.

At the time of the funeral, the availability of flights back to London was extremely limited and also impossibly expensive. The airlines were on strike, and on top of everything else, there were severe snowstorms around London, which made travelling very unpredictable. I was desperate to be able to go home and be with my brother and family, but could not afford the airfare for either my husband or myself. Again, I used the tool of prayer and turning everything over to my Higher Power for some way to make this possible.

I was absolutely amazed when one FA member offered me her frequent flyer miles. She also took almost a whole day trying to book me on the first available flight. Her kindness and compassion were so nurturing to me at that time. She actually was unable to put the entire trip together, but my daughter very generously surrendered three hundred thousand frequent flyer miles so that my husband and I could go together. She also spent a whole day on the phone working out connecting flights through Chicago and Ottawa.

I have never been so grateful as I was at that time. The miracles did not stop there. We were unable to stay with my brother and his family when we arrived, because their house was full of guests, so for a few days we had nowhere to stay. Once again, FA to the rescue. A member of the British fellowship kindly offered to let us stay with them. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have a few days before the funeral to be with people in fellowship, attend an FA meeting, have a chance to be of service. It helped so much to keep me on the right track.

I was totally abstinent during the entire experience. The funeral was a beautiful event, and I was able to stand up and really talk about my mum with serenity and joy, thanks to my Higher Power and the programme.

Compare this to before. My father died many years before my mother—before I found FA. Emotionally, it was extremely painful, as I had not expected him to die so suddenly. I was in another Twelve-Step program, which I had been in for many years, but I did not have the tools of recovery that we have in FA.

I lasted through the funeral, and then my addict self returned, and I ate my way through the pain. When I arrived at Heathrow Airport, I said my goodbyes to my newly widowed mother, my brother, and my sister, who was continuing her journey home to Australia.

While at the airport waiting for my flight, sitting in the discomfort of my recent loss, I managed to eat my way through four pounds of candy in two hours. Thus began my relapse, which lasted for about five years. I started to put back on all the weight I had lost, and I was once again out of control and in trouble. My top weight had been 200 pounds, and I could see that, slowly but surely, it was coming on again. I was surprised to find that I was not cured. I was miserable and angry.

I prayed to find a solution, and three weeks later, my friend called and told me about FA. I am so grateful today that I was able to find FA before gaining another 100 pounds.

At the time of writing, my husband has lost his job. We are selling our home before we lose it, my son-in-law is waiting for brain surgery, I have started a new job in real estate, and several other life situations are occurring over which I have no control.

Today, I am really practising living one day at a time, leaning on my Higher Power, and letting go of the outcomes. I need to live life on life’s terms. Using the food to medicate my fears and pain will only make the situations worse. I can choose to be grateful, and, as my wise sponsor says, expect the best to happen. I am curious to see how this part of my life will look. It is such a blessing to enjoy what there is to enjoy and not to have to know the outcome.