A Story of Recovery:

Facing My Fears on the Frontline

As a nurse, I am used to very hectic days in a Level 1 Emergency Department (ED) in a Boston hospital, but I had no idea how much the world would change when COVID-19 arrived. My days were filled with donning and doffing masks and gloves while wondering whether we would have enough personal protective equipment (PPE) to get me through my next shift. I was feeling discomfort due to the changes, but I was just getting in the groove of my new reality when I got sick. Even though my COVID-19 test came back negative, it took two-and-a-half weeks until I was well enough to get back to the ED.

Like most other people, I was watching the news and hearing how the pandemic was growing in strength. My work friends were telling me how busy it was, that the patients coming into the hospital were very sick and that there were different rules and policies being announced daily. The better I got physically, the more my fear started taking over. The thought that I was going to have to hit the ground running as soon as I went back to work was causing me to feel paralyzed.

I needed to do what this program has taught me to do. I asked my Higher Power for help. I made phone calls. I ate my weighed and measured meals. I prayed to have the courage to walk through my fear. I relied on the power behind me that is much greater than the problem that was in front of me.

I was amazed that I climbed over my paralyzing fear and was able to put one foot in front of the other as I walked into the Emergency Department. I asked God to help me practice humility and ask my colleagues for assistance. I received an impromptu reorientation and, by the time I got my first COVID patient, I was ready, willing, and able!

I recognized that fear can hit hard even though I have 17 years of recovery. I also recognize that, if I put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing, I can get through anything with God’s help. Thank you to my HP and this program of recovery for showing me that this too shall pass!