A Story of Recovery:

Finding My Way Back Home

I was born in Malaysia and have lived in England and in Trinidad. My second husband who was from Scotland. He was transferred to Michigan, and we came to live in Ann Arbor. Not knowing anybody, I became isolated. I had culture shock and was always hungry. I weighed 186 pounds, the highest weight I’ve ever been. My only medicine was food, food, and more food. There was never enough. I prayed for help only after I had eaten the food.

I was searching for a solution to get out of my obese body. I tried injections, ate raw eggs, drank oil and milk three times a day, and went on a grapefruit diet. I tried a wine diet, where I drank one glass of wine three times a day. One last thing my doctor suggested was that I should wire my teeth and have liquid food through a straw.

I am diabetic type 2. My doctor warned me I could lose my legs or I could become blind. My mother was diabetic and died at the age of 50. My father was diabetic, refused to have treatment, and died in his 60s.

I joined a health club and decided to become a water aerobics fitness instructor. I also taught dance exercise at a College. I lost weight, became more interested in energy healing, and became a practitioner of Qigong massage, Qigong, Reiki, and energy medicine healing.

Then we bought a lovely house in the country. This was the worst decision we made. I was so isolated, and even though I taught lots of fitness classes, the weight kept going up. The more exercise I did, the more I ate. I made non-stop visits to restaurants on my own and with my husband or friends. I had no time for other activities, as I was too busy teaching exercise and eating.

I stocked a lot of food in my kitchen and cooked large quantities so there were leftovers, which I ate before I went to bed. I took a lot of indigestion medication to calm my indigestion, and I was unhappy and heavy. I joined many diet centers and spent so much money, but none of these places had structure or spiritual healing. In 1995 I was rushed to emergency for a kidney infection. My family thought I was going to die. My diabetes and cholesterol were getting worse, and my life was at stake.

I was off work for three months, and my doctor advised me to lose weight. So I tried all the top-advertised diet centers again. I was still a prisoner in my own body, and my life was one big struggle.

After we lived in the country for six years, my husband realized that I was not happy there. We sold our house and bought a new house back in Ann Arbor. I loved our new house, but I was still struggling with my weight.

Then one day, a friend in my fitness class took me to FA and I lost 45 pounds within a year. My diabetes improved, and I was looking good. There was a tragedy in my family when my daughter became a widow after her husband had an aneurism just one year after they got married. Then my other daughter went through a divorce with her alcoholic husband. I was mentally drained. When I had been in FA for three years, my sponsor lost her abstinence, and so did I.

Food became my comfort. I put on 45 pounds, and I increased my teaching and exercised more. The more I exercised, the more I ate. I wanted to commit suicide, but my husband suggested I should humble myself to go back “home”—to FA.

It took a lot of courage for me to come back to FA. My sponsor and I now work together with the approval of my diabetic specialist. I joined an AWOL and I began to discover who I am. This is where I really start my recovery. I found my character defects and I accept things that cannot be changed unless I change myself. I learned to be patient for the changes—that takes time.

I am now almost 72 years old and weigh 135 pounds. I am on my fourth AWOL. I have tolerance for those who are struggling and pray for their recovery, I have appreciation for what I have, and I have an abundance of faith and hope for the newcomers. I love my journey of recovery. I have energy and I laugh with my husband a lot. FA gives me so much healing.

I praise God for my life, I surrender my life to Him, and I share my personal thoughts with Him every morning. I thank Him for his blessing, protection, compassion, and loving guidance before I retire at night.

And, last but not least, when I sink in the bathtub, I feel so good not to see my belly above water!