A Story of Recovery:

Frontier of Freedom

I find that one of Dr. Phil’s messages is helpful to me in FA. He suggests that when you are driven to addictive, negative actions, that you do something completely different to change your behavior patterns. For example, he said that if you want a cigarette when you get home, but are trying to stop smoking, then go for a swim instead. You cannot swim and smoke at the same time! In the same way, FA suggests changing the habit of using food as a default for whatever is going on in life. Instead, in Program, we make an outreach call, ask God for guidance, or contact our sponsor—all good tools to recovery.

I took Dr. Phil’s advice. When I first joined FA six months ago, after my evening meal, I would go upstairs to my bedroom, run a hot bath, and soak in it for half an hour. This kept me upstairs, away from food. If I watched TV with my husband, who fancied a nibble of something now and then, I might have been tempted to snack.

Since I’ve been in Program my mantra (especially through my first 90 days) has been, “No matter what obstacles seem to stand in the way, I will mindfully, with trust, follow the FA path and gain the long-term benefits of recovery.” Following the FA path means to follow the simple, yet effective FA steps—no matter what. Whether it is getting down on my knees to ask my higher power for an abstinent day, or doing my daily readings, each little step has led me to my greater goal of happiness and health. I just had to trust others who had walked this path before me.

Now, thankfully, my husband has changed his eating ways. He has watched the weight drop off me and didn’t want to be left out of feeling 100% healthy. He has given up many of his eating habits and has joined my way of eating. He has lost 15 pounds.

I have lost 50 pounds and am getting closer to my goal weight. Tomorrow is my fifty-ninth birthday, and I am grateful that, no matter what, I am following the plan and enjoying fellowship with others. I am connected to my higher power in a mindful, present manner.  There may not be a sweet birthday treat to enjoy, but the feeling of freedom, control, humility, and gratitude far outweigh any pleasure that flour and sugar can give. I feel healthy and blessed and live in a body I can relate to. What greater gifts can there be?

As my wise sponsor tells me “Play the tape to the end.” She assures me that a moment of pleasure will lead to unhappy endings of remorse, guilt, and confusion. As I give service to new sponsees and help arrange frontier [term previously used to describe an area far away from an established in-person FA fellowship] meetings out in Africa for our small, but growing, band of FA fellows, I am ever grateful for the wisdom and example given to us from farther afield. We have been inspired to spread the vital message that, no matter what, just for today, stick with Programme. It will ultimately save not only your sanity, but even your life.