A Story of Recovery:

Getting To Know My Goddess

I just attended my first FA Business Convention in Danvers, Mass.  With much encouragement to do self-care, I took a quiet walk around the hotel.   Over the past year and half, since joining FA, I have been trying to formulate my vision of my Higher Power.  I was suddenly struck by the beautiful scene in front of me of green grass, trees, and vibrant flowers; so I sat on the steps, and wrote this:

“I’m choosing to call my Higher Power (HP): My Goddess. I get to define her exactly how I want; no one else has to understand or even agree with my definition of my HP.   I don’t have to share her with anyone.  She’s part older sister, part mom, part aunt, part friend, part sponsor.   When I need extra protection, she’s part Wonder Woman!   My Goddess is strong, smart (she knows things I don’t know yet), loving, and cares about me.  She is beautiful like colorful flowers, is always available to listen and to give a hug, and she loves me unconditionally.  She’s always there for me.  She is firm, when I need her to be (but never controlling or shaming).

My Goddess reminds me I’m good enough and I’m perfectly OK as is.   I don’t need to try so hard or take things so personally.   She’s patient and gives me unconditional love without any judgement.   She’s the lush green grass after it rains and the old, sturdy trees.   She’s a light breeze.  Oh, I just felt a light breeze.   That’s My Goddess wrapping her arms around me and giving me a hug.   And when the birds chirp, she is saying hello to me.   When I’m at the beach, she’s the ocean and the sand.  

My Goddess is relaxed and reminds me to relax, to lighten up.  She reminds me to notice when I try to fix, manage, or control and she gently reminds me to breathe and Let Go. She reminds me I don’t have to fill the space with trying too hard or working too hard.  I can leave space.  Let go and leave space.  My son says “Patience is a Magical Power.”  I can Trust God; I can trust My Goddess.”

That quiet time alone was so meaningful to me.  I can’t wait to get to know, and spend time, with My Goddess.   And I can’t wait to see what spiritual experience I have at next year’s business convention.

 

 

This story was originally published in the Connection Magazine. Subscribe to the Connection Magazine for more stories of recovery. Or submit your own story of recovery.