A Story of Recovery:
Growing up at 55
I was 55-year-old, 5’4’’tall, 185 pounds, and miserable, I entered FA in a fog. After first becoming aware of the FA program, I spent months contemplating it, then finally mustered up the courage to go to a meeting.
I spent the next six months dabbling in the program, slipping in and out of meetings about once a month. I didn’t talk to anyone at the meetings, and I was too embarrassed to tell my husband where I was going Saturday mornings, so I lied and said I was going to yard sales.
Finally at one meeting, someone kindly asked (since it seemed as if I was coming more regularly), if I would like to be on the phone list. I said okay. I was far too good a people pleaser to say no.
I received an outreach call that week, and at the next meeting I got up the nerve to ask a person to be my sponsor. She agreed. I felt at that moment there was hope for me.
My sponsor now tells me I was in such a fog at the beginning that she wanted to knock on my forehead and ask, “Is anybody home?” As those first weeks passed and my mind cleared somewhat, I became aware of my behavior and experienced my first awareness of being a real food addict.
One day my daughter asked where the frozen dessert was that we had bought earlier. She didn’t see it in the freezer, and seeing my guilty look, she said, “Mom did you eat it all again?” In my defense, I said; it’s your fault, you didn’t eat it when I bought it, so I had to!
When I first started the program, my Higher Power conveniently arranged for me to be out of work and job hunting, so I was able to take the time to get used to the new way of life—the shopping, cooking, dishes, and the need for lots of rest. I found help with being honest with my family through sharing the FA pamphlet, To Our Family and Friends. My husband and daughter were very supportive from the beginning, and for most meals took care of themselves while I learned to prepare my own food. It wasn’t long before my husband said, “You know, you’re much happier.”
Today, two and a half years later, sixty pounds lighter, and with a clearer mind, I continue to build on wonderful relationships with my family, fellows and my Higher Power. I am learning to take responsibility for my own actions and to grow up.