A Story of Recovery:

Holiday Handfuls

I knew I had a sugar problem, because when I ate sugar, things went badly. What I did not want to give up was alcohol. Yet whenever I drank, I ended up face down in the sugar. Lots of sugar.

It took life smacking me in the face, with the unexpected death of a dear family friend, to wake me up. Her 25 years were over – she didn’t get any more chances. After that, I was no longer willing to squander the rest of my time on this planet waffling between trying to control my eating by drinking, not drinking, doing drugs, isolating, or exercising.

It was two days before Thanksgiving when I got a sponsor in FA. On Thanksgiving I stuck to my food plan, but I ate some protein around 3 p.m. I hadn’t known what to do with myself, so I had been standing in front of the food table, trying to mingle for hours, incredibly uncomfortable. Immediately I got on the phone with my sponsor.  “I’m glad you called,” she said. She asked, “Can you stay abstinent until dinner?”  “Yes, I said.”  “Alright, go get on your knees and ask God to help you. You can do this.”  And it worked.

On Christmas morning one month later, there were beautiful gifts, laughter, family, and abundance—abundance of sugar, that is. And there I was, crouching behind the wheel-well of my mom’s red Camry at 10 a.m., crying and not knowing why. Again I called my sponsor. “If you weren’t crying right now I would be surprised, she said.”  “Really?” I sniffled. “Yes, you’re doing a great job. It’s going to get easier. I promise. Just don’t eat.”

Well, I believed her, and throughout those next 90 days and beyond, I asked her repeatedly to promise it would get easier. And it did! Not only easier, but absolutely amazing. My life today blows my mind. Holidays can still be challenging if I linger too long around food, but holidays are only a handful of days during my whole year. My daily life is so full of freedom, joy, and hope.