A Story of Recovery:

Homebound

After burning the candle at both ends, I received an opportunity to get closer to God and to my program. It started as a sore throat and a small cold that didn’t seem like a big deal. Instead of taking the time to let my body heal completely, I continued to push through. This seemed logical to me because my symptoms were lessening, and I usually got lucky when it came to being sick.

However, a week or so later, I was starting to feel worse again – I was starting to lose my voice from the sore throat I had, and the congestion was building. Despite a coworker’s gentle nudge that I might need antibiotics due to my hacking cough, I was having a battle of wills concerning my weekend plans. By Saturday, I couldn’t get my coworker’s loving suggestion out of my head, and as God would have it, I had an outreach call with a close friend in FA who was sick with pneumonia. As I listened to her describe the symptoms she was having, the dots began to connect. I was pretty sure I had what she had and was finally willing to call my doctor and make an appointment.

I powered through that Saturday with a fever, and when I woke up Sunday, I went about my normal routine: taking a shower, asking God for an abstinent day and easing into my quiet time. I hadn’t been sitting for ten minutes before I started to feel very nauseous and intensely dizzy. My next waking moment I found myself on the ground, having no memory of how I got there. It scared me so much that I finally began to take my health seriously

The doctor confirmed that I had pneumonia, a 101.2 degree fever, and dehydration. I received the treatment and medication I needed and made my way back home. My marching orders were to rest, drink lots of fluids, take my antibiotics, eat nutritious food, and take the week off of work. I struggled to accept my situation; I didn’t like feeling powerless, helpless, fatigued, and incapable. God soon gave me the wisdom to know that wallowing in self-pity and negativity would not change my situation or help me to get well, and with this realization, I decided to make the most of my sick time and to look for the good.

I got the amazing gift of watching my body be restored to health. First, the pounding in my head went away and with that the fever. With each passing day, my body’s natural energy increased. Witnessing this transformation filled me with hope and fueled my gratitude for my Higher Power and FA. It also gave me so much compassion for my body and its abilities, helping me see that I often take all of the hard work it does for granted. 

Without my Sunday meeting and AWOL that week, outreach calls took on a whole new meaning. The FA program put the food in its right place, so not once did I have to question whether or not I was giving my body proper nutrition. The tools provided a framework and a structure with which I took care of myself and got well.

I also got closer to my Higher Power during that time. Slowing down and being homebound created the perfect opportunity for me to hear God. In one of my quiet times, God said to me, “You don’t have to be anything or do anything, just sit here with me.” In another quiet time, God kept bringing me back to the present because I was starting to plan something a month ahead in the future. I kept hearing, “that’s not happening right now,” and “it can wait.” It felt so good to have my Higher Power guide me back to sanity. I never thought that being brought to my knees by an illness would turn out to be such a spiritual experience. 

 

This story was originally published in the Connection Magazine. Subscribe to the Connection Magazine for more stories of recovery. Or submit your own story of recovery.