A Story of Recovery:

It Can Be Done!

I love skiing and traveling. Before being saved by FA, I skied all the day long, overeating at lunch, and crashing after a hard day of skiing and snacking. (I still find extra goodies in my ski jacket pockets from the years of “just in case I get hungry” thoughts that encouraged me to save treats or buy extras.) I also traveled to exotic places in various parts of the world.

When I came into FA, I was not sure how I could continue to travel and ski once I began working the program the way I do. I have dreamed about traveling to far away lands and experiencing the most unique cultures of the earth. I often wondered, in my early abstinence, if it would be possible for me to ever travel again.

I came into Program at the age of 23, weighing 164 pounds, and felt that I had my whole life ahead of me. Feelings of sadness, anger, and resentment filled my head as I began to understand that I have this disease of addiction, and that my life would have to change in order for me to get relief and recovery from the negative, miserable way of life I was leading.

The first winter in Program, I was sure it would be impossible to ski. I thought that my new body, without the insulation of fat, would freeze on the ski lift. I also did not think my usual amounts of food would be enough to fuel me for the grueling day of skiing ahead. More than that, I didn’t know how I was going to have lunch. I was used to going from the first of the morning to the very end, then fortifying my body with food (and then some), and then eating more at the restaurant cabin at the top of the mountain at lunchtime. How would this ever work out?

I began making phone calls and asking other fellows how they did long hikes and hours away from a kitchen. I learned that many people bring their lunches in a backpack and ski all day with their food on their backs.

At lunch that first day, I pulled out my Tupperware and although I didn’t have a microwave, I was able to eat abstinently on the mountain. I was willing to carry around my food while I skied in order for me to continue in my recovery. I also didn’t getting any more hungry than usual. My food plan did not need to change.

My first challenge was over, but how was I going to see the world in this program? I began making outreach calls and talking about it in my sponsor call. She encouraged me to talk with others who have traveled and ask how they did it.

Yes, there was more effort that I needed to put into the planning of my trip, but after two years in this program, I was able to travel to Costa Rica for a week. I stayed at hostels that had guest kitchens so I could prepare my food, and I learned how to commit simple foods that would travel well in the airplane and buses. I also learned that it is okay to freeze my cooked food and that it doesn’t change the taste of it.  Yet again, I let go of the attachment I had to the food and asked for neutrality. I took a phone card with me to make my sponsor calls and worked with my sponsor on how to make outreach connections with fellows. I was home in time to continue my AWOL.

So now, four-and-a-half years later and 40 pounds lighter, I am looking to go on another trip. I have learned another way to connect with people and my sponsor through Skype. I am going this time with someone who is not in Program and have had to communicate with her my needs in terms of a refrigerator and access to the Internet. I am also choosing my plane tickets more carefully, although they may be more expensive than some of the other options. I am making sure that I leave at decent hours, with reasonable layovers, and that I’ll be back in time for meetings.

This way of life has changed me and how I approach some things that I love doing, skiing and traveling. But I have learned that the life I have by being abstinent is even better than anything I had in the past, and I will go to any lengths to ensure that I am abstinent and continuing forward in my recovery. The key is that I reach out and ask for help because I know I don’t know all the answers. I have learned that the experiences of others, both with weighing and measuring food, and also with how to live life abstinently, will only benefit me and how I approach the zest that life has for each of us!