A Story of Recovery:

Living the Ups and Downs

My top weight was 138 pounds, about 30 pounds over what I weigh now. The miracle is that I have maintained my weight for 15 years, without over-exercising or having tons of therapy. I thought that if I figured out why I ate, I would stop. That never happened. I ate because I am a food addict, it is that simple.

I see that I have had lots of life events that I did not have to eat over. Life’s challenges have been as simple as coming outside to a flat tire, and as devastating as getting fired from my job. Living through the process before I actually got fired was very uncomfortable. I remember calling my sponsor one day at work crying, feeling like I was worthless. She asked me “are you doing your best?” I said “yes.” So she gave me my marching orders. “Go to work with your head held high and continue to do your best.” I followed her suggestion and did not eat. I ended up getting a better job, closer to home and earning substantially more money.

When I was about seven years abstinent, my oldest grandson was diagnosed with autism. I thought our family’s life was shattered. But I did not eat, used my tools and showed up. Today he is a happy, highly-functioning fifth grader. There have been lots of challenges along the way, but by not turning to the food, I have been present for my grandson and for my daughter and son-in-law.

Almost three years ago, walking across the street while on an outreach call, I was hit by a car. Fortunately, only my arm was broken. But there was a lot of pain over the course of a year and I had two major surgeries. Fellows brought me food, took me to my meetings and even cleaned by house. I did not eat, even though there were days when self-pity slipped in.

It is great to put on the same clothes year after year; they always fit! That never happened when I was in my disease. I am not very tall (5’2”), so gaining five pounds means growing into a bigger size. At 66 years old, I have never felt and looked better. I could go on and on about all the life challenges that have happened over the years; the main thing is that I have repeatedly chosen recovery instead of my disease and that has given me a life I never imagined. For this I am extremely grateful.