A Story of Recovery:

My FA “Rolodex”

At my first FA meeting almost eight years ago, I was struck by a comment in the reading that this was a “disease of isolation,” and that through our daily call to our sponsor and outreach calls to fellows, the telephone serves as a tool for support.

When I first came into Program, I was desperate. I felt alone, helpless, and hopeless over this disease. My sponsor urged me to use the phone to reach out and talk to others in FA. But I didn’t know what to say when I called. What do I say, “Hi, this is Connie, and I am fat, lonely, angry?” It felt so foreign to call anyone, let alone strangers, to talk about problems. Ask for help? Are you kidding?

I was desperate, so I did what was suggested. My sponsor taught me to build a list of folks in various time zones and people who had been through specific issues: financial, marital, spiritual, etc. Soon I developed my own FA “Rolodex,” and I came to know people in each category. This led to substantive conversations with fellows.

My list has changed and expanded over the years. I have experienced how great it is to have someone to talk to for support about things that are troubling or challenging in the moment. On one call, during a time when I was fighting a lot with my husband, a woman suggested that before I spoke to him I say a prayer asking God to “put kind words in my mouth.” It worked amazingly. I have called her many times since.

I also find that a call with a new member can be as valuable as a call to an old-timer. A newcomer helps me remember how scared I was in the beginning, which helps me be grateful for my life now. Or, if I am stressed about work and a new person calls who is so excited about his/her new clarity, the enthusiasm and gratitude just lift me up. It is absolutely contagious!

I’ve learned that I need and can share support, encouragement, and caring with others in this fellowship. I know it is possible for me, or the person to whom I am speaking, to make it to the other side of what is troubling us, without eating.

Today I know, without a doubt, that talking about a troubling incident is a pressure release valve. Sometime back, I was having difficulty with my sponsor and I didn’t know how to even talk with her about how anxious I was feeling. I called two long-term fellows who had gotten to know me well. I trusted that they would be honest with me and would have suggestions. They were a Godsend. My stress dropped, and I was able to talk with my sponsor about what was going on. Those calls kept me out of the food!