I started the program 32 months ago. I was 57 years old, weighed 235 lbs. (106 Kilos), diabetic and taking 120 units of insulin a day (that’s a huge amount), barely able to walk a block, uncomfortable all the time, distressed, and suicidal. My doctor suggested I try FA. I was in for an annual physical and, sobbing, I begged her to institutionalize me because I could not stop eating. (Boy was my husband shocked – he was in the exam room for a physical too.) I told her I thought I was addicted to food. I was stuck in a cycle of misery and despair: eating uncontrollably, berating and hating myself, and promising the next day would be better. I admitted that I couldn’t take it anymore and I was trying to figure out how to do myself in. After calming me down, she wheeled around on her chair,... Continue Reading
My food addiction hit an all-time high during my pregnancies and subsequent parenting of my two boys. It was very clear to me that I had a problem with diets and my weight. I knew that I couldn’t stick to any diet, but if I had competing forces in my life that required energy, well then, I had no chance at all. For example, I regularly used to take a two week “holiday” from my job or university to lose weight or, at the very least, to get kickstarted in a weight loss program. The plan, once I had devoted all my willpower to the new program, would be to integrate it into my life. I knew that I needed a lot of space and intervention for it to ever have a chance to work. Much to my surprise, time and time again this did not work, especially during my... Continue Reading
My FA journey started when I was living in a small fly-in Inuit community in Nunavut called Arctic Bay, which is located on the most northerly tip of Baffin Island. I had just returned back from my home in Edmonton, Alberta, where I had met with my family doctor. I told her I thought that I had arthritis in my knees, because I could not raise myself from the floor to a chair without pushing myself up on a chair. She told me, “You don’t have arthritis. You are too fat.” At 5’6” tall, I weighed 221 pounds (about 100 kilos). She also told me, “You can either lose weight or go on insulin for the rest of your life. What do you want to do?” Then she told me about FA saying, “It’s hard, but it works.” I went to my first meeting that night and found a temporary... Continue Reading
It was the day after my latest “first share”–that share after 90 days of back-to-back abstinence. I was in the grocery story buying food for the next day’s meals. I was stressed, I was in a rush, and I was determined to buy the perfect apple. The fruit specialist in this fancy grocery store offered to help by cutting a slice and offering it to me. A few thoughts immediately fired in rapid succession. Oh no! No need to waste a good apple and then How nice of him to do this for me followed by Oooohh, a taste test! I said, “Okay!” and proceeded to eat the slice. It was perfect. Then he offered another slice which I proceeded to eat. I thanked him, bagged my apples, went to the dairy section, selected my items, went to the check-out line, and then gasped when I realized what I had... Continue Reading
My addiction to food began at a very young age. As a kid, I was home alone a lot, and I was not allowed to go outside or be on the phone. I loved sports and playing outside, so TV and movies became boring at some point. The only thing I could think to do was eat. I was back and forth to the refrigerator all day, every day, for some time. When I was ten years old, I left my home to be closer to school and be in a better environment. I desperately wanted to be near my mother. I had a tremendous amount of fear, and the only thing that calmed me was food. Around this time, my mother and guardians started to try to control the way I ate. I was always being watched while in the kitchen and being told what I could and could... Continue Reading
