I was driving north on 101 from the airport toward San Francisco. I’d just gotten off a 12-hour flight from Sydney. On the plane, I had eaten my two pre-packed, weighed and measured meals. I was so glad I had my abstinent food. I’d done my research, knew the airport security rules, and was ready for anything. It was lunchtime, and I still had one more packed meal in my bag. On the Bay Bridge, I took the Treasure Island exit, parked the car, and looked back across the grey bay to the San Francisco skyline. I was in America. I slowly ate my abstinent meal, taking in the magnificent view. Amidst the elation, I was aware of a deep sense of gratitude to my Higher Power. This wasn’t the first time I had come to the Bay Area in my abstinence. I had made a similar business trip four... Continue Reading
I started FA17 months ago. Especially at the beginning of my recovery, my sponsor would say to me over and over, “The only thing you have to do is to not eat, and God will take care of the rest.” At first I didn’t believe her (I thought she was crazy for saying this), but now I know this is a fact. A couple of weeks ago, I related my whole story to my sponsor for my first Fifth Step in an AWOL. A lot of painful memories from a very abusive childhood surfaced, and I hung onto my sponsor’s words for dear life. I just didn’t eat no matter how uncomfortable things got, and things got very uncomfortable! My body was flooded with physical memories of the abuse. I left my sponsor’s house the day after I completed my fifth step and began a five-hour drive back to my... Continue Reading
I had been leading a very active lifestyle, which included helping with my disabled grandson, who is in a wheelchair. Then, ten years ago, I was diagnosed with arthritis in the feet. It appeared like gout, with excessive ankle swelling. At the time, I was approximately 160 pounds on a 5′ 3″ frame. I became a beached whale, a couch potato. It was extremely challenging for me to walk, but somehow I managed to complete my last five years of work before my planned retirement. It didn’t take too long before I reached 208 pounds. My eating habits didn’t change, only my life style. Physically, I was very limited. My husband did most of the grocery shopping, and I was unable to go anywhere in the evening because my ankles would always swell up by 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. I tried different weight-reduction plans, and at one time, I lost... Continue Reading
My father-in-law has six siblings. He and another sibling are in AA, and the rest are active alcoholics. He has a sister who is morbidly obese. His sister hasn’t left the house all summer, since she’s becoming more and more immobile and her panic attacks are increasing daily. During our visit, the siblings had a meeting to discuss and plan an intervention for the sister. They weren’t planning an addiction intervention (since the active addicts don’t believe in addiction), but a medical intervention that would involve a rehab. I happened to be in the room when the actual intervention was taking place with some of the family. But, since I knew that the siblings don’t recognize food addiction, I was reluctant to open my mouth because I’ve only been part of the family for five years and I didn’t want to overstep my bounds. My heart broke, seeing my wife’s... Continue Reading
I had been in FA for almost two years, and I was struggling with what to do next. The weight was off. Now what was I to do with myself? I was still wandering through grocery stores reading labels, trying to find something different to fill the hole in me. I was in a store every other day and was finding myself going out to eat more often, having lunches with co-workers during the week, and going out to meals with my husband on the weekends. One of my favorite things to do before I found FA was to go out to eat. I would try to talk my husband into going shopping so I could eat out. I would start thinking on Thursday about were could we go so I can get the largest portions and bring leftovers home. My mind was always planning. Eating out in abstinence was... Continue Reading
