I came into Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) a little over seven years ago. When I entered that first meeting I was warmly received, but also surprised that there were only three others present. Other 12-Step meetings I had attended were many times larger. I quickly realized that this was the solution for me. I listened and related to the things that were shared, though I did find some elements of the meeting strange and disconcerting, such as the rigid meeting structure and practice of sitting in rows. I went back to that meeting because it was the only meeting for miles around, compared to my other 12-Step meetings, which were held daily in my region. I saw FA as the solution to my eating addiction, which had held me captive since childhood. Yet, everything in me resisted the meeting format, the quiet time, and the phone calls. Actually,... Continue Reading
Two years before I found FA, I was about 180 pounds, taking care of everyone but myself and then losing myself in the food at the end of each day. No matter how hard I tried to control my eating, I couldn’t resist the need to reward myself with more, or self-soothe my anger with sweets. Then I discovered that my estranged mom was a victim of abuse and neglect at the hands of her so-called “friends.” She needed family support as well as complex care for her longtime alcoholism and untreated bipolar illness, so my siblings and I arranged to move her out to the West Coast and I reluctantly became her primary caregiver. She frequently sought time together or showed love by asking to go out to eat, and I would oblige, even though it was often rife with conflict, especially when she ordered a drink or two.... Continue Reading
Growing up with parents whose addictions took them through multiple cycles of sobriety and relapse, my childhood was chaotic at best. I remember their post-relapse promises to NEVER use again and the subsequent anger and despair that would come each time that promise was broken. As a result, I never used drugs and rarely touched alcohol. I was convinced that I was better than them for not having developed a substance use problem. I am grateful today to say that I have since learned humility. During a session with my therapist years ago, I boldly declared that “I may not be perfect, but I for darn sure am not an addict.” My therapist helped me see my glaring food addiction and to realize that each of those promises my parents would make in relapse are things I would swear to myself after a binge—and yet I would always do it... Continue Reading
When I first joined FA, I was desperate. I was 5’6 ½” and weighed 228 pounds. I had a seven-year-old daughter whom I couldn’t play with. I couldn’t get down on the floor and do things with her because I couldn’t get back up. I was absolutely miserable and was franticly trying to find any form of help. I was a little familiar with the FA program. My mother-in-law had been in FA for seven years or so. I saw how the weight just fell off her. I watched how and what she ate, and I had no interest. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to eat just that.” In my desperation I called her and asked her if she knew any bariatric surgeons that she could recommend to me. When she asked me why, I told her. I just knew that would be the solution to all my problems.... Continue Reading
Like so many people who come into the FA program, I had been in several weight-loss programs. Like others, I came into FA to lose weight. I was pretty successful at losing weight in those other programs, and I don’t want to put them down; they work just fine for others. However, the important thing for me is that this program helps me keep the weight off; the other programs didn’t do that for me. I have lost enough pounds to bring me to a healthy weight, which I have maintained for over a year and half. In FA, I have gained a deeper spiritual connection to my inner self and a better connection to my emotional self. I now know that when I want to eat in my former unhealthy, addictive way, it’s because I want to avoid feeling something. Thus, when I don’t eat to avoid feeling something,... Continue Reading
