It was ten days before Christmas and packages from friends and family started to arrive at our doorstep. All of the return addresses look familiar, including Amazon. As the days went by, a package arrived with a Woburn, MA return address. I didn’t recognize the name or the address. I started getting curious and excited by the prospect of a surprise gift from someone. “Don’t open until Christmas,” I told myself. I asked my family if they have ordered something for me from this address. They replied either “no,” or they “can’t recall,” because they have been sending and ordering for weeks. As Christmas day draws closer, the excitement and tension grew! Knowing that there was a box way in the back of the pile, from who knows who, would be fun to open. Finally on Christmas Eve, my husband and I started opening our gifts. I excitedly opened the... Continue Reading
Before finding FA, my first reaction to life was to soothe with food. It didn’t matter if I was tired, lonely, bored, anxious or afraid. Almost before I realized what I was feeling, I found myself reaching for food. It didn’t matter if the feelings were good or bad. Any feeling was too uncomfortable and I didn’t know how to deal other than to bury it with food. I found food helped me cope, although poorly, with life. The feelings could relate to something as major as the death of a family member, or as minor as running late for an appointment. A parking ticket could lead me to a fast-food drive-through. Anxiety about a work issue could lead me to the refrigerator at 2 a.m. I never learned healthy ways of feeling or coping with life. I had no tools, no guide, no faith. But I did have healthy... Continue Reading
My wife had prepared and weighed my salad and said, “Here ya go.” It was time for me to add my salad dressing. Earlier that day, the dinner I had committed to my sponsor included eight ounces of salad with one tablespoon of vinegar and oil for a fat. After measuring and pouring on my fat, I opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottled dressing and poured some on my salad, telling myself, “Nobody will know; it doesn’t matter.” My wife uses other things on her salad that I, as an abstinent person, would not; but I sprinkled some on my salad anyway and ate more by hand. Over the years, I would do this time and time again. My dishonesty would mask itself but, being a man of integrity, it would always come back to haunt me in guilt. I would go to meetings where my fellows would... Continue Reading
I know a place where prayers are answered, dreams are fulfilled, and wishes come true. A place I did not know existed until about three years ago. Now I can’t help but wonder why it took me so very long to find it. For if had I found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous years ago when I was much younger, I know I would have had the life I always prayed, dreamed and wished for! Instead, I kept looking for that perfect diet that would give me the results I yearned for. Spending money on the many diet books, diet clubs, expensive ready-made meals, and gyms I never stayed with for long! Oh, short successes, yes, but all too soon it was another failed diet that left me with more accumulated weight, endless hunger and great despair. I remember all too well how shopping for clothing was always a nightmare.... Continue Reading
When I weighed 212 pounds (about 96 kilograms) at age 17-18 years of age, I told myself I would never weigh that much ever again and that I would do anything to get that weight off. I began a diet in which I ate small amounts of protein every other day and I lived on sugarless snacks. I also bit my nails down to the quick until they bled and were infected and painful, but I couldn’t stop. I had to have something in my mouth all the time! My weight came down and I was starving. My dad did the cooking in our family of eight, and he would make big pressure-cooker-size meals. The food would be simmering when I came home from school or work and I just couldn’t resist trying some. But I wouldn’t take just a taste. I remember one day when I ate three or... Continue Reading
