The Just for Today card suggested that I exercise my soul, stop procrastinating, keep my mouth shut when my feelings were hurt, do nice things for people, and do things I didn’t want to do. My body Shortly before I walked into my first meeting, I was experiencing knee problems so severe that I could not take one pain-free step. Having 221 pounds on a 5’2” frame contributed dramatically to that pain. Doctors didn’t come right out and say it, but I didn’t have to be told. I had arthritis, I was getting older (56 at the time), and I was overweight. I knew I would have to find a way to manage the pain. But God found another way for me. He gave me a visual of a woman my age jogging toward me, and a woman my age in a motorized wheelchair crossing her path. The choice was... Continue Reading
First, let me start with saying out loud that at this moment I am abstinent. One day at a time I commit the third step prayer and offer prayers to a higher power asking to be assisted in all efforts to remain abstinent today. Today I told my sponsor my plan for my food for this day. I also said that I planned on going to the grocery market. I live alone, I work from home, and I do not report to anyone for my work on a daily basis. Therefore, my connection to my sponsor is an integral, critical part of my mental health within my recovery. She is not my higher power, nor my God, nor my last word. My recovery is in fact in God’s hands along with my ego, my personality, my strengths, and my weaknesses. God’s grace covers my back as old Irish culture has... Continue Reading
Gratitude is a grand and wonderful thing; I love the way it feels and the effect it has on the people around me. I find it easy to practice gratitude when all is well and things are going my way. The challenge comes when all is not well and things aren’t going my way. Lately, that has been my story. In addition to my husband’s unemployment and other smaller inconveniences, I have been experiencing some severe physical pain, and there is nothing like pain to capture my attention. Pain is not unlike a two-year old (or this food addict before recovery!)—demanding, self-centered, selfish, relentless. A few months ago, I started the practice of making a gratitude list every night. I keep a notebook by my bed, and after I get on my knees, I write down a minimum of five things that have happened that day for which I am... Continue Reading
If it takes one to know one, I recognize a fellow in my little dog, Sniffy. Sniffy is motivated by food and nothing else. He is willing to do the most amazing tricks if he knows there’s a treat in it for him, and he will do nothing if there isn’t. This makes me think of of all the times when I would decide to go or not to go to a party or other gathering, based on the food that would be there. The place where I worked had numerous meetings and training sessions. Some of these occasions were required, but most were optional. I would opt for the ones that would be serving food. At meetings, parties, or banquets, I would calculate where to sit in relation to the food—close enough to be in the first wave to be served, or near the buffet table so that my... Continue Reading
At my first meeting, I couldn’t relate to the term food addict; addicts poured drugs into their bodies with needles. And, I certainly couldn’t relate to the statement that we had an allergy to sugar and flour; I had no allergies. The hook for me was when I heard the phrase “and our lives had become unmanageable.” That was me inside. Outwardly, I appeared to be a successful professional woman who had my life under control. Even though my original intention, those nine years ago, was to just dabble in the idea of FA meetings, I was blessed with the gift of desperation. I got a sponsor that first night and was abstinent for almost four years. Then I had a break—with a binge of dairy products. But I was sure that I could resume my prior life of abstinence. I was terribly wrong. I experienced over three years of... Continue Reading
