I was sitting in my CEO’s office having a debriefing after a conference call. When we finished, she turned to me and said, “Okay, this is the hard part.” She explained that I was one of the people being let go in the current round of layoffs. My heart froze. Although she was very kind about the news, it didn’t change the outcome: I was about to be unemployed in the most devastating economic downturn of my lifetime. After the meeting with my CEO, I walked outside in order to deal with the shock. The first person I phoned was my sponsor. I got her voicemail and left a message. I reached a friend who listened to my fear for a bit and then told me, in no uncertain terms, to go take some quiet time. I walked back inside the building, found a quiet place, and sat down to... Continue Reading
Temptation is subtle, quiet, cunning, and powerful. When faced with temptation, I have thoughts that I actually believe are great new ideas or epiphanies. My ideas usually start something like this: “Wouldn’t it be nice to have…,” or, “How about eating this tonight to break things up…,” or “this food is really boring, so let’s go out to eat ‘real food.'” Living in recovery means learning to distinguish between sane thoughts and ideas, and those of my food addiction speaking to me. The food addict thoughts want to sabotage the spiritual path I am on in FA. I can walk on the spiritual path or on the self-serving path of food addiction. I can’t confuse the discomfort I may be experiencing in my life with the “great ideas” of my disease, which chooses to solve that discomfort with food. I refuse to give into my disease. I realize that the discomforts I... Continue Reading
I have had an issue with overeating all my life. Even in Program, I have broken my abstinence several times by eating too much of things. I have had some trouble exercising good portion control when I eat out, although with my sponsor’s help, these last few years have been much better for me. I always ate over stress and chaos before I came into FA. The combination of a stressful job, my drive to be a perfectionist, and poor coping abilities helped me get to 297 pounds. I still have a stressful job, but FA has given me the tools I need to handle stress without food. My husband and I have recently been doing some home renovations. We had all the interior rooms painted, new blinds put on all the windows, and had some work done in the bathroom. All this has led to quite a bit of... Continue Reading
I came into Program because I could not stop eating, was miserable, and was not able to go forward in my life, even though everything looked good on the outside. I had my master’s in counseling psychology and worked in the field for ten years, but all I ever really wanted to do with my life was to get married and have six children. I dated, but had not met the man of my dreams, and was concerned because I felt that something was wrong with me. I was worried and anxious most of the time and was starting to eat out of control. I tried CODA groups, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Alanon, therapy, Reiki, TaiChi, and more, and nothing helped. I was getting worse, not better. Then I came into FA, but the main purpose of my staying abstinent was to find a man and have children. However, I... Continue Reading
A fellow recently told me that when she gets in the car, she prays, “God, please help me drive safely and sanely.” When I think about how I drove when I was eating addictively and how I drive now that I am abstinent, I recognize that God has restored me to sanity. The insanity of the way I ate spread into all areas of my life. I would buy my binge foods at the grocery store, and as soon as I got in the car, I would start stuffing my face. I sat in the car in the supermarket parking lot devouring my groceries, hoping no one was watching. I didn’t always stay parked, though. Once, I didn’t want to stay in the parking lot where someone might see me, but I could not wait to get home to eat, so I put the sugar and flour products in the... Continue Reading
