When things don’t go my way – and trust me, they often don’t – I know now that it’s much better to consider what God is looking to teach me rather than to start feeling sorry for myself. I am learning in all aspects of my work and my family life to turn my thinking from self-pity into gratitude. I have a choice today. I can choose to go into self-pity, or I can choose to be grateful. At my office, we recently reorganized our space and the desks. When I was sitting at my new desk I found myself building up resentments against one of my colleagues, because I thought that she had the “perfect” desk. No wonder she’s so happy at work, I thought. During my quiet time the next day, God helped me to turn things around and to start being grateful. I thought about my lovely... Continue Reading
Lesson 1 – Life on Life’s Terms Before Program, I had a lot of anger and resentment over certain life circumstances. I am the oldest of four children, and my dad died when I was ten years old. I had many responsibilities that a ten-year-old should not have. I spent a lot of time resenting my mom. I ended up moving 3,000 miles away from her. Eight months after joining Program, I moved within driving distance of her (not planned by me) and was able to show up and bring her grandchildren, my girls, to visit their grandma. Working the program helped me to realize that not everything is about me, and I was able to let a lot of my pain from the past go in order to create a more loving present and future. My mom passed away only one year after I moved back to the area,... Continue Reading
I recall the first time I heard it, “Every surrender brings you closer to God.” Those were the words I heard over the phone as I reached out to a fellow FA member, complaining to her about my struggle with my morning caffeine drink. She was a woman I didn’t even know, someone my sponsor suggested I call because she had long-term abstinence. Her words seemed empty at the time. Yeah, sure, closer to God, I thought. It was bad enough that I had already surrendered one thing I liked to put into my drink. Then my sponsor suggested that I just drink it black. I was feeling sorry for myself for having to make yet another sacrifice. Poor old me. I had given up so much. But this was my morning ritual, my family’s social lubricant. My parents very rarely drank alcohol; it was the cup of caffeine that... Continue Reading
I was standing at the kitchen counter, watching the talking heads on the TV across the room, as I became aware that I was about to finish my sixth bowl of breakfast product and was getting ready to pour my seventh. I wanted to stop, but couldn’t. That’s when I knew I needed help. Again. I’d been in Twelve-Step programs before: Al-a-teen, Al-a-non, AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), and OA. I knew there was help out there. I knew that some of the meetings that would benefit me were right across the street from my office, but that didn’t change my behavior one bit. It was just me and my lack of action. Now I knew I would have to actually do something; I would have to move into action. So I went to my laptop and searched the internet for, “OA meetings.” The list popped up, and the next morning, I... Continue Reading
I believe that I have been a food addict since I came out of the womb. As early as nine or ten, I began having the feeling that food was a drug. When I started something, I couldn’t help but finish it. I started feeling ashamed of my body because I was so fat. At 12, I weighted 174 pounds, with a huge double chin, round belly, and a square back. Making friends was hard because I was so insecure and got teased a lot in school. I wanted what everyone else had all the time. I was on a constant search to be something other than myself. I failed at the diets I tried as a kid because I was always trying to find a way I could keep eating and not feel deprived. I would work my way around the kitchen on a futile hunt for the one... Continue Reading
