I joined my first AWOL ( a 12 step study of the steps in sequence) after I’d been in FA for two weeks, and I was spectacularly afraid of the group of people pressing into the small room with stained-glass windows. My fear of people exhibited itself as irritability and anxiety when I helped set up the room. I lasted four months in that AWOL before I had a break. In my second AWOL, we had just completed Step 5 when I got very full of myself and had a break, which meant I had to leave the AWOL and go back to day one again.. When my third AWOL began, I absolutely wanted to stay abstinent and complete the AWOL. Toward the end of that AWOL, I met a woman who truly had what I wanted, and I decided to switch sponsors. We then got to be in a... Continue Reading
When I came into FA, I heard that this program was not a diet and in the beginning I really did not understand that phrase. Besides, isn’t dieting how most people lose weight? But as my years in recovery mounted up, I not only have learned exactly what that means, but am able to be grateful that as long as I am in recovery, I never have to diet again! Believe me, I spent a great deal of my life “dieting”. The first diet I ever did was Weight Watchers and that was when I was seventeen. At that point I was approximately 160 pounds. My Weight Watchers experience didn’t last long and I never really achieved any weight loss. As I got older, my meager attempts to lose weight included amphetamines, which I got from the health center at the university I was attending. By then I weighed around... Continue Reading
Before I came into FA I had plenty of internal dialogue. Thoughts such as “better grab something now before I get hungry” and “whelp, today is already ruined, I will re-start my diet tomorrow” rattled and raved around in my brain constantly. These voices were strengthening my disease, while weakening my will and spirit, and eventually diminishing all hope that I would ever gain control of my weight. I was tired of failed attempts to diet. I had always tweaked, adjusted and altered every diet I ever tried. So when I came into FA, I declared I would do every crazy thing suggested, that way I could say the reason FA didn’t work was my sponsor’s failure, not mine. For me, active food addiction equaled isolation. In the beginning, the hardest tools for me were the ones that required me to interact with other people; the telephone and meetings. My... Continue Reading
Some time ago in December, I attended my first “FA meeting,” an OA meeting in Chelsea, Massachusetts whose attendees, fortunately for me, espoused the same precepts and tools we now use in FA. I was overweight and very low in self-esteem. After finding a sponsor at my very first meeting, I began working the program in earnest. Following my then husband’s career meant that I had to move away from Boston just nine months later. That was scary for me. Would I be able to stay abstinent and in recovery from far away? When I left Boston, I was on Step 8 in my face-to-face AWOL (the only kind we had then). My generous sponsor worked the remaining steps with me by phone over the next several months. Finishing the AWOL meant I was qualified to co-lead an AWOL. Over the next six years, my husband and I lived in... Continue Reading
I was 22 years old when I came into FA and lost 150 pounds. After a life of crazy relationships when in the food, I broke up with the addict I was living with when I came into FA, and I was ready to get right into the healthy dating game. However, this area of recovery was a very slow one for me, and I had to learn how to date in a saner way. After several serious relationships that did not result in marriage, I moved from Boston to Washington, DC, single. I moved to Washington, D.C. for a job, and I had pretty much given up on dating. I thought that I needed to surrender, and although I really wanted to get married and have a family, I figured that if it had not happened in 10 years of recovery, maybe God had a different plan for my... Continue Reading
