Doctors had told me during my adolescence that if I just got to 180 pounds I would be okay. Two years ago I went to the doctor, hoping that she could set me straight and help me lose some weight. I was usually between 190 and 210 pounds. On the doctor’s scale that day, I weighed in at 230. Fortunately for me, my doctor wasn’t interested in being my personal trainer or dietician as I had hoped. Instead, she told me about FA. I was angry, sad, and scared when she told me that my weight was a result of my eating, but when she told me about FA, I felt genuine hope, maybe for the first time. I couldn’t wait to get to the meeting the next morning. I went to the meeting and cried as every person spoke about a different part of my disease. I was worried... Continue Reading
Through college I struggled with doing FA and maintaining contented abstinence. I so often let my diseased negative thoughts grab my serenity and take me on a ride down ungrateful lane. This cycle happened over and over during my first six years of FA. My weight didn’t go up too much most of the time, but I saw clearly how my grades and all of my relationships suffered when I wasn’t working my tools, taking my sponsor’s suggestions, and getting relief from food obsessions and compulsive actions around my abstinent food. I had difficulties with my first teacher-credentialing program, but I made it through most of my program the second time around with flying colors. I did eat towards the end of my time in school. This massive binge humbled me into the realization that there really was no way I would finish school if I was in the food.... Continue Reading
I had been morbidly obese most of my life, and six years ago I weighed 410 pounds. My four children, whom I raised as a single father, had just faced adulthood (finally) and had left the nest. I found myself feeling alone, free of all responsible obligations, and…done. I had already made the conscious decision to commit suicide (again, I was done). I was well beyond vanity and I didn’t care about a future, much less how I looked in it. But someone told me about FA, and I thought I’d check it out before checking out. I was filled with more than a little skepticism when I saw all the people in the room. Very few looked even remotely overweight, and of the 50 to 60 people in attendance, there were only about three other guys. As with many other Twelve-Step meetings I had tried, I was suspicious of... Continue Reading
I was born in Lagos, Nigeria. I loved food and was obsessed with it from a young age. I thought about where I could get food, who was serving what, who was eating what, the kind of food other people had, and how much food I could eat without my mother noticing. I would read books that discussed food, and would fantasize about the food in those books. I recall declaring that I would marry a particular type of protein because I loved it so much! I also recall one day at dinner when my mom served me a huge piece of protein (meant for a family of four-to-six people), and informed me that I was not to leave the table until I had eaten the entire item. She was fed up with me obsessing about food and especially about that protein. I did not finish eating it all, but... Continue Reading
I find that one of Dr. Phil’s messages is helpful to me in FA. He suggests that when you are driven to addictive, negative actions, that you do something completely different to change your behavior patterns. For example, he said that if you want a cigarette when you get home, but are trying to stop smoking, then go for a swim instead. You cannot swim and smoke at the same time! In the same way, FA suggests changing the habit of using food as a default for whatever is going on in life. Instead, in Program, we make an outreach call, ask God for guidance, or contact our sponsor—all good tools to recovery. I took Dr. Phil’s advice. When I first joined FA six months ago, after my evening meal, I would go upstairs to my bedroom, run a hot bath, and soak in it for half an hour. This... Continue Reading
