A Story of Recovery:

Phones calls keep me connected and out of my own head

Recently I left a job after 23 years and ventured onto a totally new path. Although I knew it was time for a change, I was going into unknown territory. I left a small office setting and went to a company that employs thousands. I went from doing a job I knew inside and out to a job that required extensive training from the ground up.

I don’t handle change well and I was scared. The new position turned out to be a job I felt I was not well suited for, and I struggled in the training classes. I wanted to quit and run, which had always been my way of handling things. However, instead of resorting to my old behavior, I asked for help and was given three simple and helpful suggestions from FA members: 1) show up, 2) be honest, and 3) ask for help.

So I just kept showing up, doing my best, talking with my trainers honestly about my struggles, and asking for help. I was afraid they were going to fire me. It was a truly dark time in my life. I was depressed, felt like a failure, was constantly second guessing my decisions, and feeling afraid. I couldn’t sleep, and everyday tasks were a challenge.

I was talking on the phone to an FA member this morning at 7:30. (Yes, FA members pick up their phones, even before work.) She said, “When we make phone calls, no matter what we end up talking about, we are sharing love.” What a beautiful concept. I had never really thought of phone calls in this manner.

Now I realize how these calls work in my life. I kept calling my sponsor and talking honestly. I felt sure she was sick of hearing about my fear and anxiety every morning. She gently reminded me to ask God for help, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and carefully keep weighing and measuring my food. I called fellows when I didn’t feel like it and got more of the same reassuring message to not eat over it, no matter what I was feeling or going through, to keep weighing and measuring my food, and to ask my higher power for help.

And guess what?  It worked! I came out on the other side with a stronger faith and trust in my higher power, a stronger bond with my sponsor and my fellows, and a new job that I can manage. And I’m still in a thin healthy body! I got all this by following the simple suggestions from other recovering food addicts who have gone before me.  Those suggestions stemmed from my willingness to pick up the telephone.

Now, six months abstinent, the food fog has cleared, cravings have ceased, and I have experienced some peace in my life. I find the tool of making calls to be a blessing.

Phones calls keep me connected, out of isolation, and out of my own head. The times when I least want to make phone calls are the times when I need them the most.