Of all the tools of the program, making phone calls is the hardest for me. I am virtually phone phobic. Email works fine for me to get in touch with my grown children, but I don’t even do well talking on the phone with them. They forgive me for that. Only once before did I phone before taking a bite…until this week. I have been in Program for two years and have been abstinent for more than 21 months. I came into FA an atheist—a devoted, committed, lifelong atheist. I had been an atheist for 50 of my 84 years. That has been changing in my life, especially through my 16 months in an AWOL(A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps), where I have been studying the Twelve Steps. It has been hard for me to give up my “faith” after all those years of comfort in... Continue Reading
I was 21, bulimic, and beaten by food, but not beaten quite enough to be willing to take suggestions from a sponsor, or anyone else for that matter. I had been “in” the Overeater’s Anonymous (OA) 90-Day program in Boston in the late 80s. I spent three years fighting and, not surprisingly, I continued to binge and purge on a daily basis. I came into FA after struggling with the food for another six years. I do have to say that I had several breaks in the first four years of FA, so I experienced the first 90 days multiple times. I was quite willing in many ways. I got up much earlier than I was used to, called my sponsor on time, followed my food plan and suggested meal times, and drove an hour to the only FA meeting in my area. But unfortunately, I still held onto some... Continue Reading
I am 46 years old and I have spent the last 33 years tormented by food and my weight. It was self-inflicted torture and it affected every aspect of my life. Until the age of 13, I was obsessed with food and did anything to access food. Evidence of my food addition goes back to when I was three years of age. I remember the family story that had me disappearing at the end of a meal while everyone was still sitting at the table. They found me a few minutes later in one of the lower kitchen cupboards, with the door closed, crunching on the leftover dessert. There are also stories of the never-ending battle over the Christmas baking. I had to have the food. It went so far one year that my mom locked the food in the trunk of my fathers’ car. I still got at it.... Continue Reading
Several weeks ago, I was admitted to the hospital for colitis, after a reaction to antibiotics that were prescribed for an infected wisdom tooth. Before I could get the infected tooth pulled, I ended up staying for four days until the colitis cleared. Because I was so ill I was unable to eat, and when I did, I wasn’t able to keep it down. In the four years that I’ve been in FA, this was the first time that I didn’t have complete control over what I ate and the first time that I was ever too sick to eat. Before Program, nothing could ever stop me from eating! While I was in the hospital, the doctor ordered my first-ever colonoscopy. As a food addict, my only thought was that I had to fast and wouldn’t be able to eat. I ended up throwing up some more while having to... Continue Reading
One early morning, I was visiting an unfamiliar FA meeting and a very attractive, slender, older woman stood up to share. She explained that prior to retiring, she had worked in television and had lived quite the pampered life. Each morning she would call for a limo, and then was fed, prepped and made up for the camera. She had assistants do and tell her everything she needed to know, and all she had to do was show up. She said her FA life now was very similar, but even better. Carefully, I strained to hear her, knowing how unglamorous my FA life of shopping and chopping seems sometimes. She continued saying that when she gets on her knees in the morning, it is like the limo is being called and her higher power arrives shortly thereafter during her quiet time. They discuss her day ahead and strategize about difficult... Continue Reading
