When I first found FA two months after moving from Italy to London, life became easier for me. With FA I found structure, support, and a family. I discovered a group of people who understood exactly my disease and the way my brain worked, especially around food. Before I found FA, I had spent the first two months in London in a miserable state, slowly realizing that my “geographical cure” was not working. I had been drowning in fear, loneliness, isolation and, of course, food. I still remember the first time I heard someone qualify in that little church room in central London. I wanted to cry. I finally understood my behavior of so many years: I had a disease. Now I realized that I had a solution, and I wasn’t alone anymore. One of the biggest, fastest, miracles I experienced in the program was being able to sleep through... Continue Reading
I was living in Australia, abstinent in FA for six months and had started attending my first live AWOL (A Way of Life, a closed study of the Twelve Steps) when I travelled to Brazil with my husband to visit family. I had taken my sponsor’s suggestion and planned the trip for just ten days so that I would not miss two sessions in a row and as the AWOL was going to close the day after I was due back from the trip. Arriving at the airport in Brazil on the day of my return, I realized I had the departure time wrong. My flight was taking off in 20 minutes! The gate had already closed and there was nothing they could do: I had missed my flight. It was bad enough that I would have to buy another ticket, but worse than that, there was no flight available... Continue Reading
My partner had an operation; it was routine. The last time he had surgery was over 30 years ago, before I came to program. It was for cancer and the chance of him living 5 years was 20%. My reaction to that time was to use food to numb myself. I gained over 25 pounds in the ten weeks he was recovering. Fast forward to today and the surgery was successful, however, the recovery was not. Fours days post-surgery he was rushed by ambulance back to the Emergency Department. He spent 13 hours in the ED before being admitted back into the hospital. Fear, doubt, and insecurity entered my thinking and the urge to eat was whispering, but I was focused on helping my partner. At 10:30 p.m. he was finally settling into a hospital bed and I left for home, alone. I was tired, emotionally drained, and stressed; the... Continue Reading
I was in Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) for two years when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, I was six months abstinent at the time. When the doctor said the words no one ever wants to hear, I was able to be strong and think clearly. I was able to hear the doctor’s directions about the next steps my husband would need to take. My husband told me later that he had shut down the minute the doctor told him he had cancer. Because I didn’t have flour and sugar in my system, I was able to take mental and physical notes about what the doctor said. My husband broke down, but my Higher Power gave me the ability to be the strong one. Later, I called my sponsor to talk about the bad news we had just received. I broke down crying to her and asked... Continue Reading
I am a girl who spent the majority of my life putting wrappers in my bed, bags, car and even my own underpants to sneak food past my parents every night. I am also a girl who got my 90 days in FA this past Tuesday. I am a nineteen-year old college student who was, until mid-November, a tortured food addict. In FA we say that food addiction is a progressive disease; it certainly is with me; I gained over 100 pounds in under two years. This obviously took a great toll on my body; as I was nearing 250 pounds I felt the muscles in my back spasm and clench walking to the mailbox. Sweat constantly dripped down my back, legs and face, which I found mortifying. Perhaps the worst pain was that of my parents watching me physically and emotionally deteriorate before their eyes. I couldn’t fit into any of... Continue Reading
