Stories of Recovery


These stories were originally published in the Connection, FA's monthly magazine written by food addicts, for food addicts. Each post shares a different author's perspective. Visit this page often to read more experience, strength, and hope about recovery in FA. To get the newest issue of Connection Magazine sent directly to your mailbox or inbox, click here to subscribe to the Connection.

After the gastric bypass, I found myself angry.

My first 90 days didn’t come right away. I have had several “day ones” in my two and a half years in FA, but in nine days, I will have nine months of abstinence, thank you God. When I came into FA I was willing to do anything. I was desperate. I had nothing left that was going to help me with my food addiction. But I left after two months, as I didn’t have the willingness to do anything that was asked of me, and the food obsession was just too overwhelming. While I was at a meeting during this time, I heard a fellow speak about having gastric bypass surgery, and my next thought was, “Oh, I haven’t tried that yet,” so off I went to what I thought would be an easier, softer way of losing weight. I had gastric bypass surgery two years later. My top... Continue Reading

 


 

I thought I was crazy, because every moment of my life was consumed with food

Before I came into FA, I was miserable. I weighed 297 pounds. I thought I was crazy, because every moment of my life was consumed with food; it was all I could think about. I looked forward to going to the grocery store, and I lived for cooking and baking. I read recipes whenever possible so I could plan my next cooking binge. Several years before I came into Program, I began to eat “healthy.” I became a nut about low-fat and low-calorie foods, and I bought any cookbook that dealt with this type of cooking. My mom was diabetic, so I also bought diabetic cookbooks and subscribed to several diabetic cooking magazines. The highlight of my life was a trip to the grocery store. I would travel across town to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s because they carried “healthy” foods. I justified their sugar and flour items as okay... Continue Reading

 


 

I was willing to do anything to be in a thin body and be happy

As far back as I can remember, I have always gotten a “high” from eating sugar or flour products and quantities of food. I felt a lot of shame around food. I stole and hid food and often lied about how much I had eaten. I matured physically at an early age and was bigger than my peers. I always had a feeling of being different and never felt comfortable in my own skin. When I entered high school, my peers caught up to me in physical maturity, but I was still bigger. I realized I was fat and could not control the way I ate. I tried to diet but could not do it. The little hope I had vanished. When I was 18, I was my heaviest weight and more depressed than ever. I was willing to do anything to be in a thin body and be happy.... Continue Reading

 


 

Atheist in Recovery

I weighed 270 pounds; my weight was rising quickly. I wouldn’t have called myself depressed, but I certainly wasn’t happy. I resented my family and felt that I had given up my dreams of being a writer and an intellectual in order to support my family, financially and otherwise. At any given moment, it seemed the only things that could make my life bearable were eating, watching movies, playing games on the Internet, or reading. I hated exercise, but that was the only thing slowing my weight-gain. I knew I couldn’t keep up the daily 5 a.m. boot camp much longer and was bound to shoot past 300 pounds. I thought if I didn’t do something quick, bariatric surgery appeared to be the only option. That’s when I heard about FA. I was ready. Countless failures and disappointments around my health, career, and relationships had left me with the gift... Continue Reading

 


 

Trying To Fix What Isn’t Broke

I began life outside the womb in an incubator, March of 1940.  Within my first few years, I was diagnosed with asthma and then with a myriad of food allergies, some of which I still have today.  Some of those foods were exactly the ones I wanted because they were the favorites of most kids and thus became my “forbidden fruits.”  So what did I do when I was denied what I wanted?  I learned to be sneaky—to hide food, eat in the cellar, steal change (and later dollar bills) from my mother’s purse to get my stashes of food.  I ate from the leftover dishes in the living room the morning after a party and raided the refrigerator while my parents slept. My mother couldn’t figure out why I was getting sick so much, but it was because I’d eat until I couldn’t breathe.  My body changed from a... Continue Reading