A Story of Recovery:

Spiritual Input

One year and 140 pounds ago, at age 36, I entered the rooms of FA. For 24 years, I had racked my brain for every conceivable “plan” to lose weight. Generally, plans were hashed out during what I swore would be my final binge.

In the beginning of recovery, and out of the food fog, I realized that all my prior plans were “output” focused—based on how much time, money, and effort I would give to be a normal-size person.  It never occurred to me that “input” was the solution.

For years, I budgeted $11 a week for a well-known diet program, but failed to realize that the additional $10 for the fast food run after each meeting was undermining my efforts. I diligently scheduled an hour of exercising, only to come home and choose four hours of snacking and television instead. I bought a $100 treadmill that quickly became an expensive clothes rack. I spent $80 on all-natural diet supplements and never even cracked the seal. Worst of all, caught by the enticing promises of a late-night infomercial, I forked over $200 on droning meditation tapes that reprogrammed the subconscious mind with healthy eating habits, only I never stayed awake past the first five minutes.

Finally at 340 pounds, I was desperate enough to try anything. At first I was scared of FA’s tactics because there was no output. No dues, membership or fees?

But, what I received was the input of hope from the fellows who shared their experiences in recovery. Then I learned discipline around my food and tools from my very patient sponsor. My body learned that three healthy, weighed and measured meals gave it more energy than all the caffeine it absorbed in the past. From the daily literature, I learned that I was dealing with a cunning and baffling disease and not just a lack of willpower. My mind learned how much more it could accomplish in other areas when it was not battling the constant planning. Most importantly, I learned to receive input from my Higher Power throughout my daily interactions.

Now each day I receive the gift of these recovery inputs. I have freedom from the obsession of food and planning. I have joy in being a happier, more relaxed mother. I have the relief of not weighing 340 pounds and being ashamed of my appearance. I have economic security, as my money is no longer being floundered away on pipedream resolutions. I have found the solution, free of charge, right here in FA. All I have to do is be willing to receive it.