A Story of Recovery:

The Lesson of Orthotic Shoes

I couldn’t believe that my knee hurt. It didn’t just hurt—it was a stabbing, searing pain that I remembered well, but hadn’t felt in over three years. When I weighed over 300 pounds, that pain was a constant companion. I had to use a cane at the ripe old age of 49 just to walk the hallways of the school in which I taught.

All that had changed, though, when I lost 160 pounds in FA. I have had the weight off for over three years and I haven’t even thought about my knee in that time. The cane is hanging idle in my front closet. I walk everywhere and have even been known to run a few places. I have enjoyed a freedom of movement I never dreamed possible.

But Friday night, there was something wrong—something terribly wrong.

It was my first full week of teaching in the new school year. As an itinerant art teacher, I travel to 10 schools a week, dragging my rolling cart of supplies in an out of my car. What began as mild discomfort on Monday climaxed into tears and hobbled steps by Friday. This pain was worse than I even remembered!

I called my sponsor to tell her of my injury and she told me to stay home from my Friday night meeting, rest the leg, and call the doctor on Monday. I gladly took that suggestion and went to bed early. As I sat in my bed, my addict mind immediately created dramas of the cortisone injections that I would have to start again, the cane that would have to come out of the closet, and, of course, the dreaded knee replacement surgery that was imminent (in my over active imagination).

Once all the dramas had run their cycle through my head, the still, small voice of my quiet time had a chance to say to me, “Look at your shoes.” I looked over at the tennis shoes that I have been wearing for the last month. They were pretty shoes made with lovely, breathable mesh that had only cost me $20. I liked those shoes. I wear a size 12 and finding pretty shoes that don’t cost an arm and leg is a treat! One I couldn’t pass up. For most of the month, I had just worn them around the house or on short trips to the store. It had only been in the last week that they had to fulfill the duties of an itinerant teacher.

Then, the still, small voice became the very loud, emphatic voice of my chiropractor who had told me years ago to always wear leather tennis shoes. Whether it is genetic or the result of weighing over 300 pounds for 28 years, my back and my knees are compromised. Extra weight or not, orthotics are necessary for me and they need the stabilization of solid shoes. Up until a month ago, I had followed those instructions every day.

About a month ago, I “forgot” the doctor’s instructions. I have felt so good for three years that, when it came time to buy shoes, I decided to look for “pretty” and “cheap.” For several weeks, the pretty and cheap shoes were fine, but then slowly, bit by bit, they weren’t “OK,” and within one week of resuming my full schedule, I was in full blown pain and agony.

I looked in my closet and found an old pair of ugly blue leather, lace-up oxfords. Vanity crushed, I put them on and immediately felt relief. I wore them all day on Saturday and Sunday and by Monday morning my knee felt 100% better.

As I told all this to my sponsor this morning she immediately saw ‘the lesson of the shoes’ and, with a little prompting, she helped me to see it, too. My knees are always going to be compromised. (I will always be a food addict.) I will always need special shoes to keep from reactivating the pain. (I will always need to eat in ‘special ways.’) Even though I don’t feel the pain today, I still have to keep wearing the right kind of shoes EVERY DAY. Even though I now have a credible body size, I still have to work my recovery EVERY DAY.) And the biggest lesson of all—I may ‘get away’ without the special shoes for a day, a week, or even a month, but if I choose to ignore my doctor’s suggestions, one day the pain WILL RETURN and, when it does, it will come with a vengeance.

Luckily, by learning the lesson through the shoes, I don’t have to learn the lesson through the food. I may be able to eat ‘normally’ for a day, maybe a week, possibly a month, but as a food addict, I know that without the suggestions of the FA program, the uncontrollable eating and the obsessive thinking WILL RETURN and it will be worse than ever. I am so grateful that my Higher Power used shoes to teach me that lesson so that I don’t have to do any more ‘research’ in the food.