A Story of Recovery:

The Miracle of Discipline

I have just returned from a five night vacation with my husband and two college-aged sons. We toured the amazing rocket laboratory where my older son is interning visited my brother, and attended my younger son’s college orientation, which meant a lot of coordinating schedules and meal times. Every day, I prayed on my knees, asking God to help me stay abstinent, and every night, even the late nights, I thanked him. I am so grateful for my recovery in FA and my willingness to go to any lengths to stay abstinent. I never want to go back to where I was before: the fat body, the painful remorse, and the obsession which plagued me every waking moment. Eating addictively was a symptom of my disease, a maladjusted way of handling life’s challenges.

I ask myself how I maintained my discipline while the rest of the family enjoyed drinks, appetizers, and desserts in front of me nightly. On an outreach call this morning, I heard myself say, “It was in front of me. I could see it all and smell it all, but it wasn’t calling me.” That, to this food addict, was a miracle. But it takes a lot of behind the scenes effort for me to act sanely in my life. I have to work the Twelve Steps and use our tools of prayer, calls, and writing.

Today, I have been relieved of the obsession and the merciless onslaught of craving has been lifted. If I ever think, “just one bite,” I know I will give up this grace, this peace I have been blessed with by God, and I never want to take this gift for granted.