A Story of Recovery:

The More I Exercised, The More I Ate

I was searching for a solution to get out of my obese body. I tried injections, ate raw eggs, drank oil and milk three times a day, and went on a grapefruit diet. I tried a wine diet, where I drank one glass of wine three times a day. One last thing my doctor suggested was that I should wire my teeth and have liquid food through a straw.

I am diabetic type 2. My doctor warned me I could lose my legs or I could become blind. My mother was diabetic and died at the age of 50. My father was diabetic, refused to have treatment, and died in his 60s.

I joined a health club and decided to become a water aerobics fitness instructor. I also taught dance exercise at a College. I lost weight, became more interested in energy healing, and became a practitioner of Qigong massage, Qigong, Reiki, and energy medicine healing.

Even though I taught lots of fitness classes, the weight kept going up. The more exercise I did, the more I ate. I made non-stop visits to restaurants on my own and with my husband or friends. I had no time for other activities, as I was too busy teaching exercise and eating.

I stocked a lot of food in my kitchen and cooked large quantities so there were leftovers, which I ate before I went to bed. I took a lot of indigestion medication to calm my indigestion, and I was unhappy and heavy. I joined many diet centers and spent so much money, but none of these places had structure or spiritual healing. Once I was rushed to emergency for a kidney infection. My family thought I was going to die. My diabetes and cholesterol were getting worse, and my life was at stake.

I was off work for three months, and my doctor advised me to lose weight. So I tried all the top-advertised diet centers again. I was still a prisoner in my own body, and my life was one big struggle.

Then one day a friend in my fitness class took me to FA and I lost 45 pounds within a year. My diabetes improved, and I was looking good. There was a tragedy in my family when my daughter became a widow after her husband had an aneurism just one year after they got married. Then my other daughter went through a divorce with her alcoholic husband. I was mentally drained. When I had been in FA for three years, my sponsor lost her abstinence, and so did I.

Food became my comfort. I put on 45 pounds, and I increased my teaching and exercised more. The more I exercised, the more I ate. I wanted to commit suicide, but my husband suggested I should humble myself to go back “home”—to FA.

It took a lot of courage for me to come back to FA. My sponsor and I now work together with the approval of my diabetic specialist. I joined an AWOL and I began to discover who I am. This is where I really start my recovery. I found my character defects and I accept things that cannot be changed unless I change myself. I learned to be patient for the changes—that takes time.

I praise God for my life, I surrender my life to Him, and I share my personal thoughts with Him every morning. I thank Him for his blessing, protection, compassion, and loving guidance before I retire at night.

And, last but not least, when I sink in the bathtub, I feel so good not to see my belly above water!