A Story of Recovery:

The Solution

I came into Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) a little over seven years ago. When I entered that first meeting I was warmly received, but also surprised that there were only three others present. Other 12-Step meetings I had attended were many times larger.

I quickly realized that this was the solution for me. I listened and related to the things that were shared, though I did find some elements of the meeting strange and disconcerting, such as the rigid meeting structure and practice of sitting in rows. I went back to that meeting because it was the only meeting for miles around, compared to my other 12-Step meetings, which were held daily in my region.

I saw FA as the solution to my eating addiction, which had held me captive since childhood. Yet, everything in me resisted the meeting format, the quiet time, and the phone calls. Actually, I resisted everything but the meal plan, because it worked. Eventually, my reservations caused me to leave the meeting and the FA program, and it took a year and a half before I was ready to go back. I thank God that I returned because FA has changed my life once again, and on a deeper level than I experienced in other 12-Step programs.  The key has been working the tools.

We currently have seven meetings in Germany.  I love going to my FA meeting, which is an hour away. The next closest FA meeting is five hours by car, one way, so I attend other 12-Step meetings. Today, the FA meeting has a special quality for me. Maybe it’s because food was my first drug or maybe it’s the clear structure that makes me feel so good—the same structure that I disliked when I first came to FA.

In-person meetings have a special quality, being in a room with other addicts sharing experience, strength, and hope.  This is the basis of the program for me. In Germany, as in many other countries of the world, we are not able to hold in-person meetings currently due to the COVID-19 outbreak. God provided an alternative. Groups of FA people are holding conference and video calls to read literature and help each other.

So, it turns out that a lack of FA meetings becomes a different opportunity. On these calls, I get to hear sharing and stories from many more FA members, from other areas in Germany, as well as from England and the United States. My FA friend from France put it in a nutshell yesterday. “We in the FA program are used to thinking in terms of today and solutions. And so, we make a virtue out of necessity.” What a blessing in this challenging time.

I still find that I am not always good with phone calls. My excuse is that I talk on the phone a lot in my job and that I am very well connected through my long time in other 12-Step groups. I can also get into self-pity, thinking Nobody calls me!  I am very grateful to my sponsor for not putting a lot of pressure on me with this tool, but for regularly and lovingly reminding me that my phone call is, perhaps, less for me and more for the person I am calling. When I am able to take this perspective, I find it easier to make calls and I better understand the importance of this tool.

Quiet Time is another tool for which I am infinitely grateful. I’d heard of meditation while in other 12-Step groups, but I learned to really use and love it here in FA. I resisted and disliked it in the beginning because I couldn’t stand the silence. Through the silence, I could only hear what was going on in my head. Again, I got help from my sponsor. Today I cannot imagine a day without my quiet time with God in the morning.

The tool of sponsorship has been very important to me.  I am grateful to my sponsor for the time and the love I am given, and I am grateful to sponsees for their trust. With the birth of my daughter, I took some time off from sponsoring. I needed time to learn my role as a father and I wanted a lot of time for my family. Six months became almost three years and I could see the effect that not sponsoring had on me.

About six months ago, I realized that I had not measured my food properly. How often had it happened? I didn’t know, and I realized that I needed to go back to day one. I spent 90 days not sharing at meetings and I worked more closely with my sponsor again. I have been abstinent now for six months. I am able to sponsor and hope that there will be someone again who wants my help. Through this time, I have finally realized that I will lose what I don’t give away.