A Story of Recovery:

Treasured Island Memories

“I received orders for a year in Bahrain,” he said to me. My husband serves in the U.S. Navy and was up for new orders. My heart stopped. To think we’d be apart for a whole year was so upsetting to me. We had just gotten married.

“But that’s so far away,” I responded. Trying to make me feel more comfortable with the situation, he said, “You could probably come visit me during your summer vacation.”

Instead of responding out of anxiety, I took a breath and became quiet. I was trying to figure out if the visit was even possible. I had just gotten my first passport, but I hadn’t ever used it. Aside from visiting Canada when I was three years old, and a day and a half of intoxication in Canada when I was 18 (before passports were required), I had never even left the country.

Eight years ago, I weighed 325 pounds. The extent of my travel back in those days was usually to Hollywood video and the grocery store. My life grew smaller as I gained more weight. I never did well with uncertainty, so I became a very anxious person. I constantly used food to ignore my anxiety, and I engaged in massive binges. I ate over any and every emotion.

Two months in the Middle East? How was I going to do that? I was completely intimidated by the idea. But I knew it was going to be the only way I was going to see my husband.

I could feel my anxiety level rising. What about meetings, food, and connections with other FA members? How would I talk to my sponsees? I had never travelled beyond the East Coast in abstinence. I knew there’d be no FA meetings in Bahrain. I mentioned the possibility to my sponsor and a few other trusted friends in recovery. Each of them urged me to open my mind and embrace the opportunity. It was time to walk through fear once again. I don’t know how to do that naturally, but since being in recovery, I have been able to recognize irrational fear and confront it.

I mapped out my meals for the 18-hour transit there and the 21-hour transit home. I made sure my husband bought some crucial groceries ahead of time. My luggage was packed. My cooler was filled. My husband’s fridge was stocked. I was ready to embark on a new and exciting adventure.

In the Kingdom of Bahrain, there are no FA meetings, but there are some open AA meetings. I began with the meetings on the Navy base and eventually picked up a meeting in town as well. I took extreme comfort knowing there were other addicts in recovery on the island. Though we did not share an addiction to the same substance, they welcomed me with open arms. These people provided me with regular doses of medicine to arrest my addiction. Aside from which meetings I attended, nothing else in my recovery changed while I was in the Middle East. I continued to take quiet time, make phone calls, read literature, write, call my sponsor, take my sponsee calls, weigh my food, and ask God for help. I was delighted to find out that this program is totally portable, even to take to the other side of the world!

FA has changed my life completely. I went from being an isolated 325-pound graphic designer who lived with her parents, to a thin, married, home-owning elementary school teacher. In this recovery program, I have been given tools to use when I am stressed, anxious, tired, lonely, angry, sad, happy, and frustrated. I make phone calls, pray to my higher power, talk to a sponsor, read literature, write, and most importantly, I don’t eat.

Because I make a decision every day to not eat and to work my recovery, I was able to have one of the greatest adventures of my life. While in Bahrain, my husband and I took advantage of every opportunity to experience the culture, tradition and environment of this foreign land. I documented the entire trip in a blog for my friends and family to see. I was able to be present for my journey, savoring every moment with my husband. Because of being clear and abstinent, I now have a summer full of memories, which I will treasure forever.